What was he to do? How should he carry himself in
this special period of his life? Great ideas about the destiny of his
people were mingled in his mind with suspicions as to Nina, of which he
should have been, and probably was, ashamed. He would certainly take
her away from Prague. He had already perceived that his marriage with a
Christian would be regarded in that stronghold of prejudice in which
he lived with so much animosity as to impede, and perhaps destroy, the
utility of his career. He would go away, taking Nina with him. And he
would be careful that she should never know, by a word or a look, that
he had in any way suffered for her sake. And he swore to himself that
he would be soft to her, and gentle, loving her with a love more
demonstrative than he had hitherto exhibited. He knew that he had been
stern, exacting, and sometimes harsh. All that should be mended. He had
learned her character, and perceived how absolutely she fed upon his
love; and he would take care that the food should always be there,
palpably there, for her sustenance. But--but he must try her yet once
more before all this could be done for her. She must pass yet once
again through the fire; and if then she should come forth as gold, she
should be to him the one pure ingot which the earth contained. With how
great a love would he not repay her in future days for all that she
would have suffered for his sake?
But she must be made to go through the fire again. He would tax her
with the possession of the missing deed, and call upon her to cleanse
herself from the accusation which was made against her. Once again he
would be harsh with her--harsh in appearance only--in order that his
subsequent tenderness might be so much more tender! She had already
borne much, and she must be made to endure once again. Did not he mean
to endure much for her sake? Was he not prepared to recommence the
troubles and toil of his life all from the beginning, in order that
she might be that life's companion? Surely he had the right to put her
through the fire, and prove her as never gold was proved before.
At last the little light was quenched, and Anton Trendellsohn felt
that he was alone. The unseen companion of his thoughts was no longer
with him, and it was useless for him to remain there standing in the
archway. He blew her a kiss from his lips, and blessed her in his
heart, and protested to himself that he knew she would come out of the
fire pure altogether and proved to be without dross. And then he went
his way. In the mean time Nina, chill and wretched, crept to her cold
bed, all unconscious of the happiness that had been so near her. "If he
thinks I can be false to him, it will be better to die," she said to
herself, as she drew the scanty clothing over her shivering shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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