Great Britain -- History -- George V, 1910-1936 -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
"You generally find the things I say come true, sir. Could we get this
over? Ruggles told my father what he did because it is not a good thing
to belong to the seventeenth or eighteenth centuries in the twentieth.
Or really, because it is not good to have taken one's public-school's
ethical system seriously. I am really, sir, the English public
schoolboy. That's an eighteenth-century product. What with the love of
truth that--God help me!--they rammed into me at Clifton and the belief
Arnold forced upon Rugby that the vilest of sins--the vilest of all
sins--is to peach to the head master! That's me, sir. Other men get over
their schooling. I never have. I remain adolescent. These things are
obsessions with me. Complexes, sir!"
The general said:
"All this seems to be very wild. . . . What's this about peaching to a
head master?"
Tietjens said:
"For a swan song, it's not wild, sir. You're asking for a swan song. I
am to go up into the line so that the morals of the troops in your
command may not be contaminated by the contemplation of my marital
infelicities."
The general said:
"You don't want to go back to England, do you?"
Tietjens exclaimed:
"Certainly not! Very certainly not! I can never go home. I have to go
underground somewhere. If I went back to England there would be nothing
for me but going underground by suicide."
The general said:
"You see all that? I can give you testimonials. . . ."
Tietjens asked:
"Who couldn't see that it's impossible?"
The general said:
"But . . . suicide! You won't do that. As you said: think of your son."
Tietjens said:
"No, sir. I shan't do that. But you see how bad for one's descendants
suicide is. That is why I do not forgive my father. Before he did it I
should never have contemplated the idea. Now I have contemplated it.
That's a weakening of the moral fibre. It's contemplating a fallacy as a
possibility. For suicide is no remedy for a twisted situation of a
psychological kind. It is for bankruptcy. Or for military disaster. For
the man of action, not for the thinker. Creditors' meetings wipe the one
out. Military operations sweep on. But my problem will remain the same
whether I'm here or not. For it's insoluble. It's the whole problem of
the relations of the sexes."
The general said:
"Good God! . . ."
Tietjens said:
"No, sir, I've not gone off my chump. That's my problem! . . . But I'm a
fool to talk so much. . . . It's because I don't know what to say."
The general sat staring at the tablecloth: his face was suffused with
blood. He had the appearance of a man in monstrous ill-humour. He said:
"You had better say what you want to say. What the devil do you mean? . . .
What's this all about? . . ."
Tietjens said:
"I'm enormously sorry, sir. It's difficult to make myself plain."
The general said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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