Southern States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Baird pondered her answer for a moment.... She had not pretended; she
had told the truth about herself; the woman in her answered to the man
in him, but there was, deep in her, a capacity for loving that he had
not yet touched. It was guarded by hesitancy, elusiveness, and, not
selfishness exactly, nor timidity, but an indefinable inaccessibility
that was simply Ann. Judith was more forceful and less complex....
Perhaps if Ann had striven over him as he had striven over her, the
thing he wanted to grasp would be his. Edward had come nearer to the
indefinable thing than he had.... And yet, it was her inaccessible
quality that had drawn him, and that made him hold her the tighter now.
Baird remembered something Ben had written: "... I ain't no wise judge
of women, but I've noticed that some of them is just naturally
giving-hearted, and some has to grow up to it. The kind that has to grow
up to it generally loves most to be loved. They seems to grow up to
loving by being loved, that is, if they're loved the right way." Ben had
defined Ann very accurately.... But how was he to discover the right way
of loving her? Certainly not until he possessed her.
Baird looked down at Ann. "Probably it's your nature not to give much,
and I love to struggle for all I get. You're all quivering nerves, a
mixture of snow and sunshine, and I've no nerves to speak of--I'm all
fight. I think we're suited to each other." He spoke decidedly. "Ann,
they're sending me to Europe; I'm going day after to-morrow--will you go
with me? Will you marry me to-morrow, and come away from all this?"
She was silent for a long time. "I'd rather wait--till you come back,"
she said finally.
It was the answer he expected. She was very true to herself, and he
liked it. "I'll be gone for a good many months," he said quietly. "What
will you do while I'm gone--stay here?"
"I--they want me to go to school.... I can't stay here. My father wanted
me to be educated--I'm so ignorant. He told me he meant to make a
wonderful woman of me. That I would grow to be a more charmin' an'
wonderful woman than Judith.... But those things he thought because he
loved me so much." She spoke bleakly.
"You'll be a deal more wonderful than Judith, because you have a quality
she doesn't possess," Baird said. "Do you want to go to school, Ann?"
There was actual terror in her reply. "No. They'd all be
strangers--there's nobody would care anything about me."
There it was, her one great need, the thing upon which he must build.
Baird kissed her breath away. "You sweet reluctant thing! Do you think
I'd go away without you!" His voice suddenly deepened. "Ann, you want to
be loved and I want to love. I've been _hungry_ for you, literally
starved. I _want_ you--you can't understand how much I want you. You'll
travel, and you can study, and I'll be satisfied just to study you....
Come with me, Ann!"
"An' you don't mind taking me and trouble both together--for there may
be big trouble?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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