winged bird, instinct with life and love, which was unconsciously
fluttering round her?
Unconsciously? No. Antonio had become sombre that evening when he saw
the woman. As yet she disgusted him. But an abominable day had come
later. His wife had left him, reproaching him for his poverty; and
he, blind, humiliated, and defeated, had sold himself!
And the most insistent of Regina's recollections, the one which came
as a revelation of the accomplished fact, was just that arrival of
Antonio at Casalmaggiore, that drive along the river-bank, that
strange impression she had received at sight of her husband. Now all
was clear. This was why he was changed; this was why his kisses had
seemed despairing, almost cruel. He had returned to her contaminated,
shuddering with anguish. He had kissed her like that for love and for
revenge, that he might make her share in the infamy to which she had
driven him, that he might forget that infamy, that he might purify
himself in her purity, and gain his own forgiveness.
Afterwards--well, afterwards he had _got used_ to it. One gets used
to everything. She herself had got used----Would she get used to this?
A whip would have stung her less than this idea. She leaped to
her feet, hurried down the Viale, and entered the garden. It was
deserted; already somnolent, scarcely shadowed by the delicate veil
of the renascent trees. The nurse had gone.
Automatically Regina went out by the other gate, and paused under
the ilices, all sprinkled with the pale gold of their new leaves.
It was nearly noon. Was she to go back home? Was not this the just
moment, the just occasion for serious flight? She would not re-enter
the contaminated house! She would call Antonio to another place and
say to him: "Since the fault belongs to us both, let us pardon each
other; but in any case let us begin our life over again." Folly!
Stuff of romance! In real life such things cannot happen, or do not
happen at the just moment. Regina had once childishly run away,
leaving her nest merely because it was narrow. Her flight had been a
ridiculous caprice, and for that reason she had succeeded in carrying
it out. Now, on the other hand, now that her dignity and her honour
bade her remove her foot from the house which was soiled by the
basest shame, now it was impossible for her to repeat that action!
* * * * *
She hastens her step; her silk flounces rustle. She feels a slight
irritation in hearing that sighing of silk which surrounds and
follows her. Her thoughts, however, are clearing themselves. As she
descends Via Viminale, she seems returning to perfect calm. She must
wait, observe, investigate. The world is malicious. People live on
calumny, or at least on evil speaking. A man is not to be condemned
because a silly school-girl has written down in her note-book a
prurient malignity.
It is abject nonsense!
And yet----
The biggest tree has grown from a tiny seed----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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