Regina did not move an eyelash, so narrowly she was watching him.
She saw that his agitation was real, but she did not know, could not
find out, its precise cause. For some moments, however, the strong
desire that Antonio should not belie his indignation induced in her
a wave of joy. She abandoned herself to it. It was not mere desire,
it was certainty of having been deceived! Yet--an inexplicable thing
happened; the hope of having been deceived did not restore her
kindness. She became cynical--cruel.
"Come!" she said, with bitter gaiety, "why should I be angry? why
should I strike Gabrie? Suppose she had told me the truth? Let's walk
on," she added, trying to take his arm again.
But he repulsed her, and remained standing.
"Let me alone! What do you mean by the truth?"
"The fact that every one believes it, without daring to tell me, as
she dared----"
"Every one believes it? But--Regina, do you believe it?"
"I also!"
"Listen to me," he said, indignant again, but with an indignation
different from the first--deeper, more scornful--"listen to me! Are
you not ashamed of yourself?"
"Walk on," she said moving, but not trying to take his arm this time;
"don't let us make a scene in the middle of the street."
And she walked on, blind, all involved again in the fearful shadow
from which she had thought herself freed. The momentary hope was
over. Why? She did not know. Can one know why the sky becomes
suddenly covered with cloud?
Antonio's attitude was that of a man who is offended. He followed her
scarcely a step behind, and repeated, mechanically--
"You ought to be ashamed----"
She was no longer able to abandon herself to her ardent desire of
believing him innocent. She could not!--could not!
"Every one believes it?" repeated Antonio, walking by her side,
but not touching her. "And you tell me in this way, in the street,
suddenly, as if it were a joke! And you, you believe it yourself! And
you speak of it like this!"
"How would you have me speak of it?"
"At least you should have spoken sooner."
"Perhaps I heard it to-day, a little while ago, for the first time."
"That's impossible! You were too calm a little while ago!"
"One can pretend," she said, with a forced smile, which furrowed her
cheek like a sign of pain.
"A little while ago?" he repeated, closing his hand and shaking it on
a level with her face. "Then why do you say every one believes it?
Have you just learned that too? Did you hear it from that--that--I
don't know what to call her--there is no word----And you--you aren't
ashamed to demean yourself to such scandal-mongering with a creature
like that, a degenerate----You----" he continued, forcing himself to
scorn, "you, the superior woman, the exceptional fastidious woman,
the great lady--the great lady!" he repeated, raising and coarsening
his voice.
Then Regina fired up. Sombre redness made her face from forehead
to chin a circle of fire; in their turn her hands were agitated in
tragic gesticulation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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