Not George Washington — an Autobiographical NovelWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Not George Washington — an Autobiographical Novel
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Tell you what it was just like. Reminded me of it even at the time:
that picture of Napoleon coming back from Moscow. The Reverend was
Napoleon, and we were the generals; and if there were three humpier men
walking the streets of London at that moment I should have liked to
have seen them.
CHAPTER 19
IN THE SOUP
_(Sidney Price’s narrative continued)_
They give you a small bonus at the “Moon” if you get through a quarter
without being late, which just shows the sort of scale on which the
“Moon” does things. Cookson, down at the Oxford Street Emporium, gets
fined regular when he’s late. Shilling the first hour and twopence
every five minutes after. I’ve known gentlemen in banks, railway
companies, dry goods, and woollen offices, the Indian trade, jute,
tea—every manner of shop—but they all say the same thing, “We are ruled
by fear.” It’s fear that drags them out of bed in the morning; it’s
fear that makes them bolt, or even miss, their sausages; it’s fear that
makes them run to catch their train. But the “Moon’s” method is of a
different standard. The “Moon” does not intimidate; no, it entwines
itself round, it insinuates itself into, the hearts of its employees.
It suggests, in fact, that we should not be late by offering us this
small bonus. No insurance office and, up to the time of writing, no
other assurance office has been able to boast as much. The same cause
is at the bottom of the “Moon’s” high reputation, both inside and
outside. It does things in a big way. It’s spacious.
The “Moon’s” timing system is great, too. Great in its simplicity. The
regulation says you’ve got to be in the office by ten o’clock. Suppose
you arrive with ten minutes to spare. You go into the outer office
(there’s only one entrance—the big one in Threadneedle Street) and find
on the right-hand side of the circular counter a ledger. The ledger is
open: there is blotting-paper and a quill pen beside it. Everyone’s
name is written in alphabetical order on the one side of the ledger and
on the other side there is a blank page ruled down the middle with a
red line. Having made your appearance at ten to ten, you put your
initials in a line with your name on the page opposite and to the left
of the division. If, on the other hand, you’ve missed your train, and
don’t turn up till ten minutes _past_ ten, you’ve got to initial your
name on the other side of the red line. In the space on the right of
the line, a thick black dash has been drawn by Leach, the cashier. He
does this on the last stroke of ten. It makes the page look neat, he
says. Which is quite right and proper. I see his point of view
entirely. The ledger must look decent in an office like the “Moon.”
Tommy Milner agrees with me. He says that not only does it look better,
but it prevents unfortunate mistakes on the part of those who come in
late. They might forget and initial the wrong side.
After ten the book goes into Mr. Leach’s private partition, and you’ve
got to go in there to sign.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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