"No, I am not. And if I were, would there not be some excuse? I am determined to come to an end of this. Either you must trust me, or if not I will go away. I will be a governess or a housemaid or anything, rather than stay with you if you doubt me. What would you have, Gertrude? You don't want me to marry Beauchamp, yet you are angry because I am not the least atom in love with him? Would you like to be told that I am heart and soul devoted to him, but that to please you I was willing to sacrifice myself by refusing to have anything to say to him--would that be a pleasant state of things for you? I know very little about the feelings of people in love certainly--I have hardly a right to judge even of myself in such a predicament, but I don't know but what I _might_ have been capable of so sacrificing myself, Gertrude, rather than disappoint you after your many years' goodness to me. I am grateful, whatever else I may not be. But such a state of things would have been wretched for you." Gertrude was touched. The old habit of sisterly trust and confidence was fast returning upon her. "I do believe you, Roma," she said, after a little silence. "I have never doubted you as much as you think. But it is altogether uncomfortable and anomalous." "I know it is. For no one more so than for me," replied Miss Eyrecourt. "And my conviction that Beauchamp does not really care for me does not simplify matters. I doubt his being capable of what I call really caring for any one, though I don't know," she added thoughtfully, the expression of his face when he had begged her "never to sing that song again" returning to her memory; "but what can I do, Gertrude? You don't want me to let him propose formally and hear my opinion of him in the plain words I have told it to you?" "Certainly not," said Gertrude, hastily. "It would be most disagreeable--just now especially; the Chancellors would hear of it, and--altogether--" "It would be horrid, I allow," answered Roma, consideringly. "A good blow to Beauchamp's vanity might not do him any harm, but he would never forgive the dealer thereof. We could never be all comfortable together again. As for the Chancellors, I don't know that it would much matter. I don't think there is much chance of success in that quarter, Gertrude. Of course it would be a good marriage for Beauchamp, and he is far more likely to be a good husband rich than poor, and Addie is pretty and amiable. It would be all right if _he_ saw it so of course, but I don't think he will. However, I don't want to be in the way. I tell you what, Gertrude, I had better go away." "Go away!" repeated Mrs Eyrecourt, in amazement. "Roma, oh no! that would never do."