Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
"Eugenia," he said, gravely, "from you, these are terrible words."
"I know they are," she said bitterly, "but I believe they are true. I
married under a double delusion. But I believe I could have endured the
one great disappointment of finding how I had overestimated my--my--
never mind. I say, I think I could have learnt to bear my many
disappointments, and make the best of my materials, had my other belief,
my sheet anchor, not failed me as it has done. By the light of what I
now know, I can see that for some time its hold has been growing feeble
and uncertain on me, and in consequence my strength has decreased, my
good resolutions have faded, till now I have nothing to hold to. I
hardly care where I drift--what does it matter?"
"What does it matter?" broke out Gerald, indignantly. "Eugenia, do you
know what you are saying? Oh, you foolish, presumptuous child! Does
duty depend on inclination, do obligations cease to bind us when they
become difficult or painful? Allowing that you have been deceived,
allowing that you have found your life essentially other than you
expected, does that set you free from responsibility? The world is bad
enough already, but what it would be if we all regulated our conduct by
your principles, I should shudder to think. And the cowardliness of it
too! Eugenia, I thought you a woman incapable of thus deserting your
post!"
The colour had mounted to Eugenia's pale face, but the tears had ceased
to flow. "You are very hard, Gerald," she said at last. "You cannot
possibly estimate my position correctly. I left my husband because I
felt I should grow worse if I stayed, grow worse myself, and make him
grow so too. For my belief in him once shattered, _no_ link remained
between us, no common ground on which we could meet. What could be the
end of such a life?"
"What will be the end of the one you have chosen for yourself, and
forced upon him?" asked Gerald. "Duties once discarded, we are not
immediately allowed to console ourselves with others of our own
choosing, as you will find to your cost. What are you intending to do--
why did you come here?"
"I don't know. It just came into my mind. I meant to wait here till
something could be settled for the future. My husband is not the sort
of man to force me to return: he is too proud. I don't want any money
from him. I have enough of my own. I suppose some sort of separation
could be agreed upon. I have heard of such things."
She spoke with a sort of dreary indifference.
"And, in the meantime, why come here alone? Why not go to Sydney."
"I did," she said. Then she went on to tell him why she had left his
brother's house. "Frank evidently disapproved of me altogether," she
remarked, "and even Sydney seemed to think I greatly exaggerated
things."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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