Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
The morning after she had met Gerald, she woke with a slight sensation
of expectation. She hoped she should see him again; she wanted to talk
to him, and tell him how she had thought over his words; she did not
feel indignant at his plain-speaking, for it was not contemptuous and
unsympathising like Frank's, but sprang, she could not but feel, from
genuine anxiety for her good, from single-minded incapability of
advising her to act otherwise than as he believed to be right. "Still
it is often impossible," she thought, "for one person to judge of right
and wrong for another," and, more out of a feminine determination to
prove herself justified in what she had done than from any vehement
desire to persevere in her present course, she prepared herself mentally
with a whole string of unanswerable arguments, of well-sounding
sophistries with which to compel her old friend to acknowledge how
exceptional was her position, how principle and self-respect, and
unselfishness even, had driven her to this apparently undutiful step.
It was still early when Rachel tapped at her mistress's door. "A
letter, ma'am," she announced, as she came in.
"A letter!" exclaimed Eugenia, not without excitement, "it must be a
mistake. No one knows where--I mean, I have not sent my exact address
yet." But notwithstanding her words, her heart beat with vague,
unreasonable hope--what could it be?--could Sydney have found her out,
and be coming to her at once?--could Beauchamp himself be on the way to
beseech her to return to him, to entreat her forgiveness for all he had
made her suffer, to assure her that this last misery, this worst trouble
of all, had somehow or other been a mistake, a mischievous exaggeration
of his sister's? As one possibility after another suggested itself to
her imagination, Eugenia's heart beat faster and faster. "Give it me
quickly, Rachel," she said impatiently. But as the girl brought it to
her, she remarked, "It is not a letter by the post, ma'am. It is only a
note--from the Spa Hotel, I believe," and Eugenia's hopes died within
her. It was only a note--a few hurried words from Mr Thurston--
beginning "My dear Mrs Chancellor," to inform her of his being suddenly
obliged to leave Nunswell on business, and to express his regret that he
should not see her again. It was dated the previous evening. "As if he
could have got any business letters after he saw me last night, and as
if he would be likely to travel home about business on a Sunday,"
thought Eugenia, with a bitter incredulity; "no, he has just thought it
over, and agrees with Frank. They don't want to have anything more to
say to me." And this day was even more miserable than its predecessors.
She would not go to church, she dreaded now even the thought of a
stroll in the gardens; she sat alone in the dull drawing-room all day
with no books to read, no letters to write, nothing to do, nothing to
hope for. And when bedtime came and she knelt, more from the force of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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