Political fiction; Russia -- History -- 1801-1917 -- Fiction; Russia -- Officials and employees -- Fiction
“Apollon,” I said quietly and emphatically, though I was breathless,
“go at once without a minute’s delay and fetch the police-officer.”
He had meanwhile settled himself at his table, put on his spectacles
and taken up some sewing. But, hearing my order, he burst into a
guffaw.
“At once, go this minute! Go on, or else you can’t imagine what will
happen.”
“You are certainly out of your mind,” he observed, without even raising
his head, lisping as deliberately as ever and threading his needle.
“Whoever heard of a man sending for the police against himself? And as
for being frightened—you are upsetting yourself about nothing, for
nothing will come of it.”
“Go!” I shrieked, clutching him by the shoulder. I felt I should strike
him in a minute.
But I did not notice the door from the passage softly and slowly open
at that instant and a figure come in, stop short, and begin staring at
us in perplexity I glanced, nearly swooned with shame, and rushed back
to my room. There, clutching at my hair with both hands, I leaned my
head against the wall and stood motionless in that position.
Two minutes later I heard Apollon’s deliberate footsteps. “There is
some woman asking for you,” he said, looking at me with peculiar
severity. Then he stood aside and let in Liza. He would not go away,
but stared at us sarcastically.
“Go away, go away,” I commanded in desperation. At that moment my clock
began whirring and wheezing and struck seven.
IX
“Into my house come bold and free,
Its rightful mistress there to be.”
I stood before her crushed, crestfallen, revoltingly confused, and I
believe I smiled as I did my utmost to wrap myself in the skirts of my
ragged wadded dressing-gown—exactly as I had imagined the scene not
long before in a fit of depression. After standing over us for a couple
of minutes Apollon went away, but that did not make me more at ease.
What made it worse was that she, too, was overwhelmed with confusion,
more so, in fact, than I should have expected. At the sight of me, of
course.
“Sit down,” I said mechanically, moving a chair up to the table, and I
sat down on the sofa. She obediently sat down at once and gazed at me
open-eyed, evidently expecting something from me at once. This naïveté
of expectation drove me to fury, but I restrained myself.
She ought to have tried not to notice, as though everything had been as
usual, while instead of that, she ... and I dimly felt that I should
make her pay dearly for _all this_.
“You have found me in a strange position, Liza,” I began, stammering
and knowing that this was the wrong way to begin. “No, no, don’t
imagine anything,” I cried, seeing that she had suddenly flushed. “I am
not ashamed of my poverty.... On the contrary, I look with pride on my
poverty. I am poor but honourable.... One can be poor and honourable,”
I muttered. “However ... would you like tea?....”
“No,” she was beginning.
“Wait a minute.”
I leapt up and ran to Apollon. I had to get out of the room somehow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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