reason of my scant physical ease,) and fallen back again on the hard
sofa of certain ancient rooms in the Winthrop Square, contracted nook,
of a local order now quite abolished, and held to my nose for long and
sustaining sniffs the scented flower of independence. I took my
independence for romantic, or at least for a happy form of yawning
vessel into which romance, even should it perforce consist but of mere
loose observational play, might drop in the shape of ripe fruit from a
shaken tree. Winthrop Square, as I had occasion to note a couple of
years since, is a forgotten name, and the disappearance of my lodging
spares me doubtless a reminder, possibly ironic, of the debility of
those few constructional and pictorial elements that, mustering a
wondrous good-will, I had invited myself to rejoice in as "colonial."
The house was indeed very old, as antiquity in Cambridge went, with
everything in it slanting and gaping and creaking, but with humble
antique "points" and a dignity in its decay; above all with the deep
recess or alcove, a sweet "irregularity" (so could irregularities of
architectural conception then and there count,) thrust forth from its
sitting-room toward what I supposed to be the Brighton hills and
forming, by the aid of a large window and that commanding view, not to
mention the grace of an ancient expansive bureau or secretary-desk (this
such a piece, I now venture to figure, as would to-day be pounced on at
any cunning dealer's,) a veritable bower toward which even so shy a
dreamer as I still then had to take myself for might perhaps hope to woo
the muse. The muse was of course the muse of prose fiction--never for
the briefest hour in my case the presumable, not to say the presuming,
the much-taking-for-granted muse of rhyme, with whom I had never had,
even in thought, the faintest flirtation; and she did, in the event, I
note, yield to the seduction of so appointed a nook--as to which
romantic passage, however, I may not here anticipate. I but lose myself
in the recovered sense of what it richly "meant" to me just to _have_ a
place where I could so handsomely receive her, where I could remark with
complacency that the distant horizon, an horizon long since rudely
obliterated, was not, after all, too humble to be blue, purple, tawny,
changeable in short, everything an horizon should be, and that over the
intervening marshes of the Charles (if I don't go astray in so much
geography) there was all the fine complicated cloud-scenery I could
wish--so extravagantly did I then conceive more or less associational
cloud-scenery, after the fashion, I mean, of that feature of remembered
English and Boulognese water-colours, to promote the atmosphere of
literary composition as the act had begun to glimmer for me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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