makes it still more wondrous) all too languidly; yet they massed
themselves for my sense, through the lapsing months, to the final
semblance of an intimate secret garden. Such was the odd, the almost
overwhelming consequence--or one of these, for they are many--of an
imagination to which literally everything obligingly signified. One of
the actual penalties of this is that so few of such ancient importances
remain definable or presentable. It may in the fulness of time simply
sound _bete_ that, with the crash of greater questions about one, I
should have been positively occupied with such an affair as the degree
and the exact shade to which the blest figures in the School array, each
quite for himself, might settle and fix the weight, the interest, the
function, as it were, of his Americanism. I could scarce have cleared up
even for myself, I dare say, the profit, or more pertinently the charm,
of that extravagance--and the fact was of course that I didn't feel it
as extravagance, but quite as homely thrift, moral, social, esthetic, or
indeed, as I might have been quite ready to say, practical and
professional. It was practical at least in the sense that it probably
more helped to pass the time than all other pursuits together. The real
proof of which would be of course my being able now to string together
for exhibition some of these pearls of differentiation--since it was to
differentiation exactly that I was then, in my innocence, most prompted;
not dreaming of the stiff law by which, on the whole American ground,
division of _type_, in the light of opposition and contrast, was more
and more to break down for me and fail: so that verily the recital of
my mere concomitant efforts to pick it up again and piece its parts
together and make them somehow show and serve would be a record of
clinging courage. I may note at once, however, as a light on the
anomaly, that there hung about _all_ young appearances at that period
something ever so finely derivative and which at this day rather defies
re-expression--the common character or shared function of the precious
clay so largely making up the holocausts of battle; an advantage working
for them circuitously or perhaps ambiguously enough, I grant, but still
placing them more or less under the play of its wing even when the arts
of peace happened for the hour to engage them. They potentially, they
conceivably, they indirectly paid, and nothing was for the most part
more ascertainable of them individually than that, with brothers or
other near relatives in the ranks or in commands, they came, to their
credit, of paying families. All of which again may represent the high
pitch of one's associated sensibility--there having been occasions of
crisis, were they worth recovering, when under its action places,
persons, objects animate or not, glimmered alike but through the grand
idealising, the generalising, blur. At moments of less fine a strain, it
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