to be yet more deplorably the case later on--I like to give a twitch to
the curtain of a future reduced to the humility of a past: when, the War
being over and we confronted with all the personal questions it had
showily muffled up only to make them step forth with their sharper
angles well upon us, our father, easily beguiled, acquired by purchase
and for the benefit of his younger sons divers cottonlands in Florida;
which scene of blighted hopes it perhaps was that cast upon me, at its
defiant distance, the most provoking spell. There was provocation, at
those subsequent seasons, in the very place-name of Serenola, beautiful
to ear and eye; unforgettable were to remain the times, while the vain
experiment dragged on for our anxiety and curiosity, and finally to our
great discomfiture, when my still ingenuous young brothers, occupied in
raising and selling crops that refused alike, it seemed, to come and to
go, wafted northward their fluctuating faith, their constant hospitality
and above all, for one of the number at home, their large unconscious
evocations. The mere borrowed, and so brokenly borrowed, impression of
southern fields basking in a light we didn't know, of scented
sub-tropic nights, of a situation suffused with economic and social
drama of the strangest and sharpest, worked in me, I dare say most
deceptively, as a sign of material wasted, my material not being in the
least the crops unproduced or unsold, but the precious store of images
ungathered. However, the vicarious sensation had, as I say, been intense
enough, from point to point, before that; a series of Wilky's letters of
the autumn of '62 and the following winter during operations in North
Carolina intended apparently to clear an approach to Charleston overflow
with the vivacity of his interest in whatever befell, and still more in
whatever promised, and reflect, in this freshness of young assurances
and young delusions, the general public fatuity. The thread of interest
for me here would certainly be much more in an exhibition of some such
artless notes of the period, with their faded marks upon them, than in
that of the spirit of my own poor perusal of them--were it not that
those things shrink after years to the common measure when not
testifying to some rarity of experience and expression. All experience
in the field struck me indeed as then rare, and I wondered at both my
brothers' military mastery of statement, through which played, on the
part of the elder, a whimsicality of "turn," an oddity of verbal
collocation, that we had ever cherished, in the family circle, as the
sign of his address. "The next fight we have, I expect," he writes from
Newberne, N. C., on New Year's Day '63, "will be a pretty big one, but I
am confident that under Foster and our gunboats we will rid the State of
these miserable wretches whom the Divine Providence has created in its
wisdom to make men wish----! Send on then, open yourselves a recruiting
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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