Notes of hospital life from November, 1861, to August, 1863Anonymous
History
Notes of hospital life from November, 1861, to August, 1863
Anonymous
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Hospitals
We were thunderstruck; how could he be so deceived? For although we had
not seen Robinson that day, we well knew he was in a condition from which
he could not rally. It seemed therefore no kindness to allow his mother
to be tortured with false hope, and we earnestly represented (hard as it
seemed to do so) that the surgeons did not look for any improvement; but
all in vain,--he had seen sickness--he had seen doctors mistaken before
now--his boy was going to get well; so he accompanied us to the telegraph
station, and sent his message. That evening I was told some one wanted to
see me, from the ---- hospital, and on going out, was met by the words,
“Miss ----, my boy’s gone, my boy’s gone!” and a burst of sobs, which
seemed as though it must shake that poor old frame to pieces.
He had scarcely left, in the morning, to send his hopeful telegram, when
the change took place, and Robinson breathed his last just as his father
reached his bedside. The blow fell heavier, as we had feared, from the
strong hope he had persisted in entertaining, and even then it seemed as
though he were too much bewildered and stunned to realize fully what had
occurred. There was something inexpressibly touching in the grief of that
poor, bowed-down old man, shattered as he was, too, by hard travel and
loss of rest; and yet I hardly knew how to comfort him, or to answer that
sad appeal, “How can I go back to his mother without him?” Deep grief
must ever bear with it a reverence of its own, and this seemed something
one scarcely dared meddle with.
He said the funeral was to take place the next afternoon, and begged that
the ladies who had been so kind to him would be present for his mother’s
sake; he thought it would comfort her to know it. I readily consented,
and promised to inform the others.
He rose to go, and drawing a little paper from his pocket, said, “I
thought maybe you might care for this; it is a lock of my boy’s hair,
which I cut off for you, and I thought his mother would be glad to know
you had it.”
I expressed my feelings in a few words, which seemed to soothe and
gratify him.
That poor mother seemed never out of his thoughts; and again and again
would he repeat that piteous question, “How can I go back to her without
him?”
But he need not have feared; that mother’s heart was anchored on the Rock
which alone can withstand the storms of earth. Listen to but one sentence
from her first letter (to one of the ladies, who had been a kind and
constant correspondent,) after that sad return.
“At first it seemed I could not bear it. My bright-faced, joyous boy--my
sunbeam! But soon came the thought, how short the journey would be for me
to go to him, and that my sunbeam would now shed its ray upon me from the
sky, to light my path onward and upward.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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