"Look long, look long in the water Mélisande,
Is there never a face but your own?
There is never a soul you shall know Mélisande,
Your soul must stand alone.
All alone in the world Mélisande,
Alone, alone."
ETHEL CLIFFORD.
The long evening was before Janey. Since her stroke, her mother "retired
for the night," as the nurse called it, at nine instead of ten. And at
nine, Janey came down to the drawing-room and established herself with
her work beside the lamp. Harry, whom nothing could keep awake after his
game of dominoes, went to bed at nine also.
But to-night, as she took up her work, her spirit quailed at the long
array of threadbare thoughts that were lying in wait for her. She dared
not think any more. She laid down her work, and took up the paper. But
she had no interest in politics. There seemed to be nothing in it. She
got up, and taking the lamp in her hand crossed the room and looked at
the books in the Chippendale bookcase, the few books which her mother
had brought with her from Hulver. They were well chosen, no doubt, but
somehow Janey did not want them. Shakespeare? No. Longfellow? No. She
was tired of him, tired even of her favourite lines, "Life is real, life
is earnest." Tennyson? No. Pepys' Diary? She had heard people speak of
it. No. Bulwer's novels, Jane Austen's, Maria Edgeworth's, Sir Walter
Scott's? No. _Crooks and Coronets_? She had only read it once. She might
look at it again. She liked Miss Nevill's books. She had read most of
them, not intentionally, but because while she was binding them in brown
paper for the village library, she had found herself turning the leaves.
She especially liked the last but one, about simple fisher-folk. She
often wondered how Miss Nevill knew so much about them. If she had
herself been acquainted with fishermen, she would have realized how
little the dignified authoress did know. Somehow, she did not care to
read even one of Miss Nevill's books to-night.
_The Magnet_, by Reginald Stirling. She hesitated, put out her hand, and
took the first of the three volumes from the shelf. She had skimmed it
when it came out five years ago, because the Bishop, when he stayed with
them for a confirmation, had praised it. Janey had been surprised that
he had recommended it when she came to read it, for parts of it were
decidedly unpleasant. She might look at it again. She had no
recollection of it, except that she had not liked it. Her conversation
with Mr. Stirling had agitated her, but it had also stirred her. Though
she did not know it, it was the first time she had come into real
contact with an educated and sensitive mind, and one bent for the moment
on understanding hers. No one as a rule tried to understand Janey. It
was not necessary. No one was interested in her. You might easily love
Janey, but you could not easily be interested in her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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