But the ape is still there, and always will be, and every now and again,
when Constable Civilisation turns his back for a moment, as during
"Spanish Furies," or "September massacres," or Western mob rule, it
creeps out and bites and tears at quivering flesh, or plunges its hairy
arms elbow deep in blood, or dances round a burning nigger.
I knew a man once--or, rather, I knew of a man--who was a confirmed
drunkard. He became and continued a drunkard, not through weakness, but
through will. When his friends remonstrated with him, he told them to
mind their own business, and to let him mind his. If he saw any reason
for not getting drunk he would give it up. Meanwhile he liked getting
drunk, and he meant to get drunk as often as possible.
He went about it deliberately, and did it thoroughly. For nearly ten
years, so it was reported, he never went to bed sober. This may be an
exaggeration--it would be a singular report were it not--but it can be
relied upon as sufficiently truthful for all practical purposes.
Then there came a day when he did see a reason for not getting drunk. He
signed no pledge, he took no oath. He said, "I will never touch another
drop of drink," and for twenty-six years he kept his word.
At the end of that time a combination of circumstances occurred that made
life troublesome to him, so that he desired to be rid of it altogether.
He was a man accustomed, when he desired a thing within his reach, to
stretch out his hand and take it. He reviewed the case calmly, and
decided to commit suicide.
If the thing were to be done at all, it would be best, for reasons that
if set forth would make this a long story, that it should be done that
very night, and, if possible, before eleven o'clock, which was the
earliest hour a certain person could arrive from a certain place.
It was then four in the afternoon. He attended to some necessary
business, and wrote some necessary letters. This occupied him until
seven. He then called a cab and drove to a small hotel in the suburbs,
engaged a private room, and ordered up materials for the making of the
particular punch that had been the last beverage he had got drunk on, six-
and-twenty years ago.
For three hours he sat there drinking steadily, with his watch before
him. At half-past ten he rang the bell, paid his bill, came home, and
cut his throat.
For a quarter of a century people had been calling that man a "reformed
character." His character had not reformed one jot. The craving for
drink had never died. For twenty-six years he had, being a great man,
held it gripped by the throat. When all things became a matter of
indifference to him, he loosened his grasp, and the evil instinct rose up
within him as strong on the day he died as on the day he forced it down.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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