"My uncle failing to make any impression upon him, the governor ventured
to add a few words of exhortation, upon which the man turned fiercely on
the whole of them.
"'Go to hell,' he cried, 'with your snivelling jaw. Who are you, to
preach at me? _You're_ glad enough I'm here--all of you. Why, I'm the
only one of you as ain't going to make a bit over this job. Where would
you all be, I should like to know, you canting swine, if it wasn't for me
and my sort? Why, it's the likes of me as _keeps_ the likes of you,'
with which he walked straight to the gallows and told the hangman to
'hurry up' and not keep the gentlemen waiting."
"There was some 'grit' in that man," said MacShaughnassy.
"Yes," added Jephson, "and wholesome wit also."
MacShaughnassy puffed a mouthful of smoke over a spider which was just
about to kill a fly. This caused the spider to fall into the river, from
where a supper-hunting swallow quickly rescued him.
"You remind me," he said, "of a scene I once witnessed in the office of
_The Daily_--well, in the office of a certain daily newspaper. It was
the dead season, and things were somewhat slow. An endeavour had been
made to launch a discussion on the question 'Are Babies a Blessing?' The
youngest reporter on the staff, writing over the simple but touching
signature of 'Mother of Six,' had led off with a scathing, though
somewhat irrelevant, attack upon husbands, as a class; the Sporting
Editor, signing himself 'Working Man,' and garnishing his contribution
with painfully elaborated orthographical lapses, arranged to give an air
of verisimilitude to the correspondence, while, at the same time, not to
offend the susceptibilities of the democracy (from whom the paper derived
its chief support), had replied, vindicating the British father, and
giving what purported to be stirring midnight experiences of his own. The
Gallery Man, calling himself, with a burst of imagination, 'Gentleman and
Christian,' wrote indignantly that he considered the agitation of the
subject to be both impious and indelicate, and added he was surprised
that a paper holding the exalted, and deservedly popular, position of
_The_ --- should have opened its columns to the brainless vapourings of
'Mother of Six' and 'Working Man.'
"The topic had, however, fallen flat. With the exception of one man who
had invented a new feeding-bottle, and thought he was going to advertise
it for nothing, the outside public did not respond, and over the
editorial department gloom had settled down.
"One evening, as two or three of us were mooning about the stairs,
praying secretly for a war or a famine, Todhunter, the town reporter,
rushed past us with a cheer, and burst into the Sub-editor's room. We
followed. He was waving his notebook above his head, and clamouring,
after the manner of people in French exercises, for pens, ink, and paper.
"'What's up?' cried the Sub-editor, catching his enthusiasm; 'influenza
again?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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