Because knowing the other as caring is the basic act of nursing, it became clear to us that knowledge expansion would be helpful in enhancing nurses' ability to recognize uniquely personal ways their patients live the value of caring. Schoenhofer conducted a series of studies over several years to develop knowledge of personal lived meaning of everyday caring. In one unpublished study, adolescents shared stories of personal caring. Their stories were found to center around the theme of "helping out." Adolescents described everyday caring in terms such as "cheering up someone you love," "helping another get what they need," "work as caring," "caring by physical presence." The stories illustrated situations where caring was expressed as "helping out when you don't really want to, but doing it anyway," "helping without being asked," "filling in where caring is missing." One teenage boy told of caring for a former girlfriend who was angry about their breakup; he made deliberate efforts to remain active as a friend, as a way to help the girl deal with the loss of their romantic relationship. He characterized his caring as "keeping on showing care even though it doesn't seem to change things." In another similar study, 4th grade students told stories of caring in which they acted as advocates for other children and offered help to others, both adults and children, who were perceived as less fortunate and in need of care (Schoenhofer, Bingham & Hutchins, 1998). Adults, too, have unique and personal ways of living their everyday caring. One father related an example of caring for his young daughter by restricting her activities because of poor school performance, and then engaging in a dialogue with her that resulted in a compromise. The father saw willingness to discipline as an act of caring and felt that his willingness to listen to the child's perspective was also part of his caring (Schoenhofer, Bingham & Hutchins, 1998). Several adults whose parents had become disabled told stories of caring for parents in ways that preserved cherished role relationships. These adults understood that their caring required extra effort to avoid infantalization of the parent but felt that without that extra effort, attention would be given to certain needs but adequate caring would not be given.