However, this is certain, this mallard is the accidental occasion of a great gaudy once a-year, and great mirth, though the commemoration of their founder is the chief occasion; for on this occasion is always sung," as extant in the Oxford Sausage, the following "merry old song:"-- THE ALL-SOULS' MALLARD. Griffin, bustard, turkey, capon, Let our hungry mortals gape on, And on their bones their stomach fall hard, But All-Souls' men have their MALLARD. Oh! by the blood of King Edward, Oh! by the blood of King Edward, It was a swapping, swapping, MALLARD. The _Romans_ once admired a _gander_ More than they did their chief commander, Because he saved, if some don't fool us, The place that's called from the _Head of Tolus_. Oh! by the blood, &c. The poets feign _Jove_ turned a swan, But let them prove it if they can; As for our proof, 'tis not at all hard, For it was a swapping, swapping MALLARD. Oh! for the blood, &c. Swapping he was from bill to eye, Swapping he was from wing to thigh; Swapping--his age and corporation Out-swapped all the winged creation. Oh! for the blood, &c. Therefore let us sing and dance a galliard, To the remembrance of the MALLARD; And as the MALLARD dives in a pool, Let us dabble, dive, and duck in a bowl. Oh! by the blood of King Edward, Oh! by the blood of King Edward, It was a swapping, swapping MALLARD. But whoever would possess themselves of the true history of the _swapping mallard_ of All-Souls, must read the "_Complete Vindication of the Mallard of All-Souls_," published in 1751, by Dr. Buckler, sub-warden, "a most incontrovertible proof of his wit," who for that and other, his effusions, was usually styled, by way of eminence, says Chalmers, in his History of Oxford, "The BUCKLER of the Mallardians." His _Vindication_, it is justly observed, is "one of the finest pieces of _irony_ in our language." Of course, he is highly indignant at the "injurious suggestions of Mr. Pointer (contained in the foregoing quotations,) who insinuates, that the huge _mallard_ was no better than a _goose-a-gander_, "_magis senex_," &c.; and after citing the very words of Mr. P., he breaks out, "Thus the _mallard of All-Souls_, whose REMEMBRANCE has, for these three centuries, been held in the highest veneration, is, by this _forged hypothesis_, degraded into a GOOSE, or, at least, ranked in the _same class_ with that ridiculous animal, and the whole story on which the rites and ceremonies of the _mallard_ depends, is represented as _merely traditional_; more than a hint is given of the _mischievousness_ of the bird, whatever he be; and all is founded on a _pretended longevity_, in support of which fiction the great names of Lord _Bacon_ and Mr. _Willughby_ are called in, to make the vilifying insinuation pass the more plausibly upon the world." "We live in an age (he adds,) when the _most serious_ subjects