Nuts to crack; or Quips, quirks, anecdote and facete of Oxford and Cambridge ScholarsGooch, Richard
History
Nuts to crack; or Quips, quirks, anecdote and facete of Oxford and Cambridge Scholars
Gooch, Richard
University of Cambridge -- Anecdotes; University of Oxford -- Anecdotes
Is now fast falling into _forgetfulness_, though there was a time when
he was hailed by Granta's choicest spirits, as one who never failed to
"set the table in a roar." Poor Jemmy! I shall never forget the manner
in which he, by one of those straightforward, not-to-be-mistaken
flashes of wit, silenced a brow-beating Radical Huntingdon attorney,
at a Reform-meeting in Cambridge market-pace. Jemmy was a native of
Cambridge, and was the son of a former chapel-clerk of Trinity
College, who gave him an excellent classical education, and had him
articled to an eminent solicitor, with fine talents and good
prospects. But though Jemmy was "a cunning man with a hard head," such
as his profession required, he had a soft heart,--fell in love with a
pretty girl. That pretty girl, it is said, returned his passion, then
proved faithless, and finally coquetted and ran off with a "_gay_
deceiver," a fellow-commoner of Trinity College,--optically dazzled,
no doubt, with the purple robe and silver lace, for Jemmy was a fine,
sensible-looking man. Poor Jemmy! he was too good for the faithless
hussy; he took it to heart, as they say, and, unfortunately, took to
drinking at the same time. He soon became too unsettled, both in mind
and habits, to follow up his profession with advantage, and he became
a _bon-vivant_, a professed wit, with a natural turn for facete, and
the _cram-man_ of the more idle sons of Granta, who delighted in his
society in those days when his wits were unclouded, nor did the more
distinguished members of the university then disdain to hail him to
their boards. For many years Jemmy lived to know and prove that
"learning is most excellent;" and having a good classical turn, he
lived by writing _Themes_ and _Declarations_ for non-reading Cantabs,
for each of which Jemmy expected the physician's mite, and, like them,
might be said to thrive by the _Guinea_ Trade. It is, no doubt, true,
that some of his productions had college prizes awarded to them, and
that, on one occasion, being recommended to apply for the medal, he
indignantly answered, "It is no credit to be first in an ass-race!"
Notwithstanding, Jemmy's in-goings never equalled his out-goings, and
many a parley had Jemmy with his empty purse. It was no uncommon thing
for him to pass his vacations in _quod_--_videlicet_ jail--for debts
his creditors were well aware he could not pay; but they well knew
also that his friends, the students, would be sure to _pay him out_ on
their return to college. These circumstances give occasion for the
publication of the now scarce caricatures of him, entitled,
"Term-time," and "Non-term." In the first he is represented spouting
to one of his _togaed_ customers, in the latter he appears cogitating
in "durance vile." Besides these, numerous portraits of Jemmy have
been put forth, for the correctness of most of which we, who have
"held our sides at his fair words," can vouch. A full-length is extant
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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