I recollect once being invited, with another Cantab, to _bitch_ (as they say) with a scholar of Bene't Coll. and arrived there at the hour named to find the door _sported_ and our host out. We resolved, however, not to be _floored_ by a _quiz_, and having gained admission to his rooms per the window, we put a bold face upon matters, went straight to the buttery, and ordered "_coffee and muffins for two_," in his name. They came of course; and having feasted to our heart's content, we finished our revenge by hunting up all the _tallow_ we could lay hands on, which we cut up to increase the number, and therewith illuminated his rooms and beat a retreat as quick as possible. The College was soon in an uproar to learn the cause for such a display, and we had the pleasure of witnessing our _wag's_ chagrin thereat from a nook in the court. This anecdote reminds me of one told of himself and the late learned physician, Dr. Battie, by Dr. Morell. They were contemporary at Eton, and afterwards went to King's College, Cambridge, together. Dr. Battie's mother was his _jackall_ wherever he went, and, says Dr. Morell, she kindly recommended me and other scholars to a chandler at 4_s._ 6_d._ per dozen. But the candles proved dear even at that rate, and we resolved to vent our disappointment upon her son. We, accordingly, got access to Battie's room, locked him out, and all the candles we could find in his box we lighted and stuck up round the room! and, whilst I thrummed on the spinnet, the rest danced round me in their shirts. Upon Battie's coming, and finding what we were at, he "fell to storming and swearing," says the Doctor, "till the old Vice-Provost, Dr. Willymott, called out from above, 'Who is SWEARING LIKE A COMMON SOLDIER?' 'It is I,' quoth Battle. 'Visit me,' quoth the Vice-Provost. Which, indeed, we were all obliged to do the next morning, with a distich, according to custom. Mine naturally turned upon, 'So fiddled Orpheus, and so danced the _brutes_;' which having explained to the Vice-Provost, he punished me and Sleech with a few lines from the _Epsilon_ of Homer, and Battie with the whole third book of Milton, to get, as we say, by heart." Another College scene, in which Battie played a part, when a scholar at King's, is the following:-- CASE OF BLACK RASH,