Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor (Poems and Yarns)Riley, James Whitcomb
General
Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor (Poems and Yarns)
Riley, James Whitcomb
American wit and humor
The cow is attached to each shaft and a small single-tree, or
swingletree, by means of a broad strap harness. She also wears a
breeching, in which respect she frequently has the advantage of her
escort.
I think I have never witnessed a sadder sight than that of a new milch
cow, torn away from home and friends and kindred dear, descending a
steep, mountain road at a rapid rate and striving in her poor, weak
manner to keep out of the way of a small Jackson Democratic wagon loaded
with a big hogshead full of tobacco. It seems to me so totally foreign
to the nature of the cow to enter into the tobacco traffic, a line of
business for which she can have no sympathy and in which she certainly
can feel very little interest.
Tobacco of the very finest kind is produced here, and is used mainly for
smoking purposes. It is the highest-price tobacco produced in this
country. A tobacco broker here yesterday showed me a large quantity of
what he called export tobacco. It looks very much like other tobacco
while growing.
He says that foreigners use a great deal of this kind. I am learning all
about the tobacco industry while here, and as fast as I get hold of any
new facts I will communicate them to the press. The newspapers of this
country have done much for me, not only by publishing many pleasant
things about me, but by refraining from publishing other things about
me, and so I am glad to be able, now and then, to repay this kindness by
furnishing information and facts for which I have no use myself, but
which may be of incalculable value to the press.
As I write these lines I am informed that the snow is twenty-six inches
deep here and four feet deep at High Point in this State. People who did
not bring in their pomegranates last evening are bitterly bewailing
their thoughtlessness to-day.
A great many people come here from various parts of the world, for the
climate. When they have remained here for one winter, however, they
decide to leave it where it is.
It is said that the climate here is very much like that of Turin. But I
did not intend to go to Turin even before I heard about that.
Please send my paper to the same address, and if some one who knows a
good remedy for chilblains will contribute it to these columns, I shall
watch for it with great interest.
Yours as here 2 4,
BILL NYE.
P. S.--I should have said, relative to the cow of this State, that if
the owners would work their butter more and their cows less they would
confer a great boon on the consumer of both.
B. N.
A Character
[Illustration]
I.
Swallowed up in gulfs of tho't--
Eye-glass fixed--on--who knows what?
We but know he sees us not.
Chance upon him, here and there--
Base-ball park--Industrial Fair--
Broadway--Long Branch--anywhere!
Even at the races,--yet
With his eye-glass tranced and set
On some dream-land minaret.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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