At the beach, the where, perchance-- Tenderest of eyes may glance On the fitness of his pants. Vain! all admiration--vain! His mouth, o'er and o'er again Absently absorbs his cane. Vain, as well, all tribute paid To his morning coat, inlaid With crossbars of every shade. He is oblivious, tho We played checkers to and fro On his back--he would not know. II. So removed--illustrious-- Peace! kiss hands, and leave him thus He hath never need of us! Come away! Enough! Let be! Purest praise, to such as he, Were as basest obloquy. Vex no more that mind of his, We, to him, are but as phizz Unto pop that knows it is. Haply, even as we prate Of him HERE--in astral state-- Or jackastral--he, elate, Brouses 'round, with sportive hops In far fields of sphery crops, Nibbling stars like clover-tops. He, occult and psychic, may Now be solving why to-day Is not midnight.--But away! Cease vain queries! Let us go! Leave him all unfathomed.--Lo, He can hear his whiskers grow. The Diary of Darius T. Skinner [Illustration] "FIFTH AVENUE HOTEL, New York, Dec. 31, 188-.--It hardly seems possible that I am here in New York, putting up at a hotel where it costs me $5 or $6 a day just simply to exist. I came here from my far away-home entirely alone. I have no business here, but I simply desired to rub up against greatness for awhile. I need polish, and I am smart enough to know it. "I write this entry in my diary to explain who I am and to help identify myself in case I should come home to my room intoxicated some night and blow out the gas. "The reason I am here is that last summer while whacking bulls, which is really my business, I grub-staked Alonzo McReddy and forgot about it till I got back and the boys told me that Lon had struck a First National bank in the shape of the Sarah Waters claim. He was then very low with mountain fever and so nobody felt like jumping the claim. Saturday afternoon Alonzo passed away and left me the Sarah Waters. That's the only sad thing about the whole business now. I am raised from bull-whacking to affluence, but Alonzo is not here. How we would take in the town together if he'd lived, for the Sarah Waters was enough to make us both well fixed. "I can imagine Lon's look of surprise and pride as he looks over the outer battlements of the New Jerusalem and watches me paint the town. Little did Lon think when I pulled out across the flat with my whiskers full of alkali dust and my cuticle full of raw agency whisky, that inside of a year I would be a nabob, wearing biled shirts every single day of my life, and clothes made specially for me.