American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American -- Periodicals
“Well, you oughtn’t to say it,” Collinson protested. “People say a thing
like that about a man in a joking way, but other people hear it
sometimes and don’t know they’re joking, and a story gets started.”
“My goodness, but you’re serious!” Old Bill exclaimed. “You look like
you had a misery in your chest, as the rubes say; and I don’t blame you!
Get on out in the fresh night air and you’ll feel better.”
He was mistaken, however; the night air failed to improve Collinson’s
spirits as he walked home alone through the dark and chilly streets.
There was, indeed, a misery in his chest, where stirred a sensation
vaguely nauseating; his hands were tremulous and his knees infirm as he
walked. In his mind was a confusion of pictures and sounds, echoes from
Charlie Loomis’s shack: he could not clear his mind’s eye of the one
hundred dollar bill; and its likeness, as it lay crumpled on the green
cloth under the drop light, haunted and hurt him as a face in a coffin
haunts and hurts the new mourner.
It seemed to Collinson then that money was the root of all evil and the
root of all good, the root and branch of all life, indeed. With money,
his wife would have been amiable, not needing gay bachelors to take her
to vaudevilles. Her need of money was the true foundation of the
jealousy that had sent him out morose and reckless to-night; of the
jealousy that had made it seem, when he gambled with Charlie Loomis for
the luck dollar, as though they really gambled for luck with her.
It still seemed to him that they had gambled for luck with her, and
Charlie had won it. But as Collinson plodded homeward in the chilly
midnight, his shoulders sagging and his head drooping, he began to
wonder how he could have risked money that belonged to another man. What
on earth had made him do what he had done? Was it the mood his wife had
set him in as he went out that evening? No; he had gone out feeling like
that often enough, and nothing had happened.
Something had brought this trouble on him, he thought; for it appeared
to Collinson that he had been an automaton, having nothing to do with
his own actions. He must bear the responsibility for them; but he had
not willed them. If the one hundred dollar bill had not happened to be
in his pocket---- That was it! And at the thought he mumbled desolately
to himself: “I’d been all right if it hadn’t been for that.” If the one
hundred dollar bill had not happened to be in his pocket, he’d have been
“all right.” The one hundred dollar bill had done this to him. And
Smithie’s romancing again came back to him: “In one person’s hands
money’ll do good, likely; in another’s it’ll do harm.” It was the money
that did harm or good, not the person; and the money in his hands had
done this harm to himself.
He had to deliver a hundred dollars at the office in the morning,
somehow; for he dared not take the risk of the client’s meeting the
debtor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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