Odd craft [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Odd craft [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
Mr. Blows, in a somewhat fluent reply, reflected severely on the
foreman’s immediate ancestors, and the strange lack of good-feeling and
public spirit they had exhibited by allowing him to grow up.
“Take it ’ome and bury it,” said the foreman again. “Not under any
plants you’ve got a liking for.”
“I suppose,” said Mr. Blows, still referring to his foe’s parents, and
now endeavouring to make excuses for them—“I s’pose they was so
pleased, and so surprised when they found that you _was_ a ’uman being,
that they didn’t mind anything else.”
He walked off with his head in the air, and the other men, who had
partially suspended work to listen, resumed their labours. A modest
pint at the Rising Sun revived his drooping spirits, and he walked home
thinking of several things which he might have said to the foreman if
he had only thought of them in time.
He paused at the open door of his house and, looking in, sniffed at the
smell of mottled soap and dirty water which pervaded it. The stairs
were wet, and a pail stood in the narrow passage. From the kitchen came
the sounds of crying children and a scolding mother. Master Joseph
Henry Blows, aged three, was “holding his breath,” and the family were
all aghast at the length of his performance. He re-covered it as his
father entered the room, and drowned, without distressing himself, the
impotent efforts of the others. Mrs. Blows turned upon her husband a
look of hot inquiry.
“I’ve got the chuck,” he said, surlily.
“What, again?” said the unfortunate woman. “Yes, again,” repeated her
husband.
Mrs. Blows turned away, and dropping into a chair threw her apron over
her head and burst into discordant weeping. Two little Blows, who had
ceased their outcries, resumed them again from sheer sympathy.
“Stop it,” yelled the indignant Mr. Blows; “stop it at once; d’ye
hear?”
“I wish I’d never seen you,” sobbed his wife from behind her apron. “Of
all the lazy, idle, drunken, good-for-nothing——”
“Go on,” said Mr. Blows, grimly.
“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” declared Mrs. Blows. “Look at
your father, my dears,” she continued, taking the apron away from her
face; “take a good look at him, and mind you don’t grow up like it.”
Mr. Blows met the combined gaze of his innocent offspring with a dark
scowl, and then fell to moodily walking up and down the passage until
he fell over the pail. At that his mood changed, and, turning fiercely,
he kicked that useful article up and down the passage until he was
tired.
“I’ve ’ad enough of it,” he muttered. He stopped at the kitchen-door
and, putting his hand in his pocket, threw a handful of change on to
the floor and swung out of the house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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