Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabeFord, Sewell
General
Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe
Ford, Sewell
Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"And when I found how he just naturally ate up music," says Snick, "and
how he'd had some training in a boy choir, and what a range he had, I
says to him, 'Hermy,' says I, 'you come with me!' First I blows in ten
good hard dollars getting a lawyer to draw up a contract. I thought it
all out by myself; but I wanted the whereases put in right. And it's a
peach. It bound me to find board and lodging and provide clothes and
incidentals for Hermy for the period of one year; and in consideration of
which, and all that, I am to be the manager and sole business
representative of said Hermy for the term of fifteen years from date,
entitled to a fair and equal division of whatsoever profits, salary, or
emoluments which may be received by the party of the second part, payable
to me, my heirs, or assigns forever. And there I am, Shorty. I've done
it! And I'm going to stay with it!"
"What!" says I. "You don't mean to say you've invested a year's board and
lodgin' and expenses in--in that?" and I gazes once more at this hundred
and eighty-pound wrist slapper, who is standin' there in front of the
mirror pattin' down a stray lock.
"That's what I've done," says Snick, shovin' his hands in his pockets and
lookin' at the exhibit like he was proud of it.
"But how the--where in blazes did you get it?" says I.
"Squeezed it out," says Snick; "out of myself, too. And you know me. I
always was as good to myself as other folks would let me. But all that
had to be changed. It come hard, I admit, and it cost more'n I figured
on. Why, some of his voice culture lessons set me back ten a throw. Think
of that! He's had 'em, though. And me? Well, I've lived on one meal a
day. I've done a double trick: on the wagon day times, night cashier in a
drug store from nine till two a.m. I've cut out theaters, cigarettes, and
drinks. I've made my old clothes last over, and I've pinched the dimes
and nickels so hard my thumbprints would look like treasury dies. But
we've got the goods, Shorty. Hermy may be the mushiest, sappiest, hen
brained specimen of a man you ever saw; but when it comes to being a high
class grand opera barytone, he's the kid! And little Percival here is his
manager and has the power of attorney that will fix him for keeps if I
know anything!"
"Ye-e-es?" says I. "Reminds me some of the time when you was backin'
Doughnut to win the Suburban. Recollect how hard you scraped to get the
two-fifty you put down on Doughnut at thirty to one, and how hard you
begged me to jump in and pull out a bale of easy money? Let's see; did
the skate finish tenth, or did he fall through the hole in his name?"
"Ah, say!" says Snick. "Don't go digging that up now. That was sport.
This is straight business, on the level, and I ain't asking you to put up
a cent."
"Well, what then?" says I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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