Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabeFord, Sewell
General
Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe
Ford, Sewell
Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
The Dummy ain't payin' any attention to the speech, either. He's got
sight of all them animals with their heads bobbin', and a silly grin
spreads over his face. First he sidles over to the mantel and touches up
one that was about stopped. Then he sees another, and starts that off
again, and by the time Hooker is through the Dummy is as busy and
contented as you please, keepin' them tigers and things movin'.
"Well?" says the Rev. Sam.
"Eh?" says Bobby, tearin' his eyes off the Dummy. "Were you saying
something about the glass works? Beastly bore! I never go near them. But
say! I want that chap over there. I want to hire him. What's his name?"
"Dummy Kronacher," says the Rev. Sam, comin' out strong on the first
word.
"Good!" says Bobbie. "Hey, Dummy? What will you take to stay here with me
and do that right along?"
Dummy has just discovered a stuffed alligator that can snap its jaws and
wiggle its tail. He only looks up and grins.
"I'll make it a hundred a month," says Bobbie. "Well, that's settled.
Atkins, you're fired! And say, McCabe, I must show this new man how I
want this business done. You and your friend run in some other time, will
you?"
"But," says Hooker, "can't you do something about those helpers? Won't
you promise to----"
"No!" snaps Bobby. "I've no time to bother with such things. Atkins, show
'em out!"
Well, we went. We goes so sudden the Rev. Sam forgets about leavin' the
Dummy until we're outside, and then he's for goin' back after him.
"What for?" says I. "That pair'll get along fine; they're two of a
kind."
"I guess you're right," says he. "And it's something to have brought
those two together. Perhaps someone will see the significance of it, some
day."
Now what was he drivin' at then? You can search me. All I've been able to
make out of it is that what ails the poor is poverty, and the trouble
with the plutes is that they've got too much. Eh? Barney Shaw said
something like that too? Well, don't let on I agree with him. He might
get chesty.
CHAPTER X
MARMADUKE SLIPS ONE OVER
And you'd almost think I could accumulate enough freaks, all by myself,
without havin' my friends pass theirs along, wouldn't you? Yet lemme tell
you what Pinckney rung up on me.
He comes into the Studio one day towin' a party who wears brown spats and
a brown ribbon to his shell rimmed eyeglasses, and leaves him planted in
a chair over by the window, where he goes to rubbin' his chin with a
silver-handled stick while we dive into the gym. for one of our little
half-hour sessions. Leaves him there without sayin' a word, mind you,
like you'd stand an umbrella in the corner!
"Who's the silent gazooks you run on the siding out front?" says I.
"Why," says Pinckney, "that's only Marmaduke."
"Only!" says I. "I should say Marmaduke was quite some of a name.
Anything behind it? He ain't a blank, is he?"
"Who, Marmaduke?" says he. "Far from it! In fact, he has a most
individual personality."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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