Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabeFord, Sewell
General
Odd Numbers: Being Further Chronicles of Shorty McCabe
Ford, Sewell
Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Now look at this dippy move of Mr. Jarvis's. Guess you don't remember
him. I'd 'most forgot him myself, it's so long since he was around; but
he's the young chap that owns that big Blenmont place, the gent that
Swifty and I helped out with the fake match when he----Well, never mind
that yarn. He got the girl, all right; and as he had everything else
anybody could think of, it should have been a case of lockin' trouble on
the outside and takin' joy for a permanent boarder.
But there the other mornin', just as I was havin' a breathin' spell after
hammerin' some surplus ego out of a young society sport that had the idea
he could box, the studio door opens, and in pokes this Mr. Jarvis, actin'
like he'd been doped.
Now he's a big, husky, full blooded young gent, that's always used
himself well, never collected any bad habits, and knows no more about
being sick than a cat knows about swimmin'. Add to that the fact that
he's one of the unemployed rich, with more money than he knows how to
spend, and you can figure out how surprised I am to see that down and out
look on his face. Course, I thinks something serious has been happenin'
to him, and I treats him real gentle.
"Hello, Mr. Jarvis!" says I. "Somebody been throwin' the hooks into you,
have they?"
"Oh, no," says he. "No, I--I'm all right."
"That's good," says I. "Dropped in to let me hand you a few vibrations
with the mitts?"
"No, thank you, Shorty," says he, fingerin' a chair-back sort of
hesitatin', as if he didn't know whether to sit down or stand up. "That
is--er--I think I don't care for a bout to-day. I--I'm hardly in the
mood, you see."
"Just as you say," says I. "Have a seat, anyway. Sure! That one; it's
reserved for you. Maybe you come in to enjoy some of my polite and
refined conversation?"
"Why--er--the fact is, Shorty," says he, fixin' his tie kind of nervous,
"I--I don't know just why I did come in. I think I started for the club,
and as I was passing by in a cab I looked up here at your
windows--and--and----"
"Of course," says I, soothin'. "What's the use goin' to the club when the
Physical Culture Studio is handier? You're feelin' fine as silk; how're
you lookin'?"
"Eh? Beg pardon?" says he, gettin' twisted up on that mothy gag. "Oh, I
see! I'm looking rotten, thank you, and feeling the same."
"G'wan!" says I. "You ain't got any license to have feelin's like that.
Guess you got the symptoms mixed. But where do you think it hurts most?"
Well, it takes five or ten minutes of jollyin' like that to pull any
details at all out of Jarvis, and when I does get the whole heartrendin'
story, I hardly knows whether to give him the laugh, or to send out for a
nursin' bottle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account