She softly drew away her hand, giving him a look so full of pity and
sorrow that a feeling akin to despair made his heart swell within his
breast. He had read of those who resigned the world with all its hopes
and pleasures from a feeling that their time was short here, and of
death-bed farewells, and there was so much of this in Louise's manner
that he became stricken and chilled.
It was only by a tremendous effort over self that he was able to summon
up the strength to speak; and, in place of the halting, hesitating words
of a few minutes before, he now spoke out earnestly and well.
"Forgive me," he said; and she trembled as she shrank away to cover her
eyes with her hand. "It was folly on my part to speak to you at such a
time, but my love is stronger than worldly forms, and though I grieve to
have given you pain, I cannot feel sorry that I have spoken the simple,
honest truth. You are too sweet and true to deal lightly with a man's
frank, earnest love. Forgive me--say good-bye. I am going away
patiently--to wait."
His manner changed as he took her disengaged hand and kissed it tenderly
and respectfully.
"I will not ask to see your father to-day. He is, I know, suffering and
ill; but tell him from me that he has only to send a messenger to bring
me here at once. I want to help him in every way. Good-bye."
"Stop!"
He was half-way to the door when that one word arrested him, and with a
sense of delicious joy flooding his breast, he turned quickly to listen
to the words which would give him a life's happiness. The flash of joy
died out as quickly as that of lightning, and in the same way seemed to
leave the hope that had arisen scathed and dead. For there was no
mistaking that look, nor the tone of the voice which spoke what seemed
to him the death-warrant of his love.
"I could not speak," she said in a strange low voice full of the pain
she suffered. "I tried to check you, but the words would not come.
What you ask is impossible; I could not promise. It would be cruel to
you--unjust, and it would raise hopes that could never be fulfilled."
"No, no. Don't say that," he cried appealingly. "I have been
premature. I should have waited patiently."
"It would have been the same. Mr Leslie, you should not have asked
this. You should not have exposed yourself to the pain of a refusal, me
to the agony of being forced to speak."
"I grant much of what you say," he pleaded. "Forgive me."
"Do not misunderstand me," she continued, after a brave effort to master
her emotion. "After what has passed it would be impossible. I have but
one duty now; that of devoting myself to my father."
"You feel this," he pleaded; "and you are speaking sincerely; but wait.
Pray say no more--now. There: let me say good-bye."
"No," she said sternly; "you shall not leave me under a misapprehension.
It has been a struggle that has been almost too great: but I have won
the strength to speak. No: Mr Leslie, it is impossible."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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