Off-Hand Sketches, a Little Dashed with HumorArthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
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Off-Hand Sketches, a Little Dashed with Humor
Arthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
Fiction; Short stories
"The trouble is bad enough, without the reality, I suppose. We are
all doomed to have a certain amount of anxiety and trouble here,
whether real or imaginary. Some have the reality, and others the
imagination. Either is bad enough; I don't know which is worse."
"I shall certainly be content to have the imaginary part," I
replied.
"That part you certainly have, and your full share of it. I believe
you have, at some period or other, suffered every ill that flesh is
heir to. As for me, I would rather have a good hearty fit of
sickness, a broken leg or arm, or even a cancer, and be done with
it, than become a living Pandora's box, even in imagination."
"As you think I am?"
"As I know you are."
"Then you would really like to see me have a cancer in my breast,
and be done with it?" I said this pretty sharply.
"Don't look so fiercely at me," returned my husband, smiling. "I
didn't say I would rather you would have a cancer; I said I would
rather have one, and be done with it, than suffer as you do from the
fear of it, and a hundred other evils."
"I must say you are quite complimentary to your wife," I returned,
in a little better humour than I had yet spoken. The fact was, my
mind took hold of what my husband said about real and imaginary
evils, and was somewhat braced up. Of imaginary evils I had
certainly had enough to entitle me to a whole lifetime exemption
from real ones.
From the time Mrs. A--left me until my husband came in, the pain
in my breast had steadily increased, accompanied by a burning and
stinging sensation. In imagination, I could clearly feel the entire
cancerous nucleus, and perceive the roots eating their way in all
directions around it. This feeling, when I now directed my thoughts
to my breast, was gone--very little pain remained.
After tea, my husband went out and returned in about an hour. He
said he had been round to consult with our physician, who assured
him that he had seen hundreds of cases like mine, not one of which
terminated in cancer; that such glandular obstructions were common,
and might, under certain circumstances, unless great care were used,
cause inflammation and suppuration; but were no more productive of
cancer, a very rare disease, and consequent upon hereditary
tendencies, than were any of the glandular obstructions or
gatherings in other parts of the body.
"But the breast is so tender a place," I said.
"And yet," returned my husband, "the annals of surgery show ten
cancers in other parts of the body to one in the breast."
In this way my husband dissipated my fears, and restored my mind to
a comparatively healthy state. This, however, did not long remain; I
was attacked on the next day with a dull, deeply-seated pain in one
of my jaw-teeth. At first, I did not regard it much, but its longer
continuance than usual began to excite my fears, especially as the
tooth was, to all appearance, sound.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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