It must be very trying When the wicked millionaires Desire to trade the pulpits Dirty dollars for their prayers; But I miss the shame, you see, And am happy as can be, For John D. Rockyfeller he Hain't a-throwin' any of his awful coin at me! Of course, if some rich sinner Should attempt to subsidize, I certainly would see, sir, If I dared accept the prize; But I worry none, you see, And my fancies all are free, For John D. Rockyfeller he Hain't expressed a notion to be subsidizin' me! But I--I have the promise,-- You may spread the joyous news-- I get whatever millions That the churches may refuse; But I know still poor I'll be And from dirty dollars free, For John D. Rockyfeller he Will never have occasion to pass on the coin to me! In the Dark. It's all too lonely for speech, Too drear for a swift remark; I only grope till I faintly reach Your finger-tips in the dark. But there in the darkness near Where the shadows clutch and cling, Above the plash of the bitter tear, A song and the lips that sing! Caught on the Fly. Poor cooks make rich undertakers. Self confidence is the sharpest weapon in life's fierce battles. It is our own infirmities that lead us to suspect infirmities in our fellows. Because it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom may account for the wives of so many owning all the property. "When Teddy Squares the Deal." They tell us that the good old play We call the game of life, Is fair no more, and every day Leads on to more of strife; The cards are marked, the hands are stuffed, The players bunco feel, And graft has all the goodness bluffed Till Teddy squares the deal! The gamblers who have won the stakes By shady ways of wrong Will find of dough their biggest cakes And sing another song; The loaded dice so used of yore, The marks that help the steal, Will disappear forever more When Teddy squares the deal. Then honest men will have a chance To play an even game, And thrift and virtue swift advance To happiness and fame; No more will robbers ply their trade, Nor shout the tin-horn's spiel; The world will call a spade a spade When Teddy squares the deal! He'll slay the "bear", he'll rope the "bull," He'll make the brokers stare; He'll fill the jails with robbers full, And teach them to beware; He'll fill the rich man full of pains And millionaires shall reel, While poor men prosper in their gains, When Teddy squares the deal.