3. Our Potman or “Chucker Out” has won seventy-five prizes, and is an excellent shot with a Revolver. 4. The UNDERTAKER calls every morning FOR ORDERS. 5. The Lord helps those who help themselves; but the Lord help those that are caught helping themselves here. This notice hangs in an old frame over the door. On an adjoining wall is the following: OFFICE RULES 1. Gentlemen upon entering will leave the door open or apologise. 2. Those having no business should remain as long as possible, take a chair and lean against the wall; it will preserve the wall and prevent it falling upon us. 3. Gentlemen are requested to smoke, especially during office hours; tobacco and segars of the finest brands will be supplied gratis. 4. Spit on the floor, as the spittoons are only for ornaments. 5. TALK LOUD or WHISTLE, especially when we are engaged. If this has not the desired effect, SING. 6. If we are in business conversation with anyone, gentlemen are requested not to wait until we are disengaged, but join us, as we are particularly fond of speaking to half a dozen or more at one time. 7. Profane language is expected at all times, especially if ladies are present. 8. Put your feet on the table, or lean against the desk. It will be of great assistance to those who are writing. 9. Persons having no business to transact will call often or excuse themselves. 10. Should anyone desire to borrow money do not fail to ask for it, as we do not require it for business purposes, but merely for the sake of lending. We copied the following from a placard either in the _Windmill_ at Hollingbourne, or the _Ten Bells_ at Leeds, in Kent: GOOD ADVICE Call Frequently, Drink Moderately, Pay Honourably, Be Good Company, Part Friendly, Go Home Quietly. Let these lines be no man’s sorrow, pay to-day and trust to-morrow. In the _General Wolfe_ at Westerham: THE LANDLORD’S PUZZLE More Shall Trust Score I Sent for what I my And Have Do Beer If Pay Clerk Brewers I May So Must Their My And at Groombridge: My ale is good, my measure just, And yet--my friends, I cannot trust. CHAPTER XIII HAUNTED INNS