Old Court Life in France, vol. 2/2Elliot, Frances Minto Dickinson
History
Old Court Life in France, vol. 2/2
Elliot, Frances Minto Dickinson
France -- Court and courtiers
"Ah, Celestine, that fear is ever present to me. It is agony to me;
it keeps me here. Do not imagine that I misunderstand my position. I
suffer because it is too painfully evident. Yet I love the King too
much to resign him. Love! ah, more—I worship him!" and she raised
her head, and an inner light shone from her soft grey eyes, that
made them glow with passion. "Is he not my master—my sovereign!" she
continued; "am I not bound to obey him? Could I exist without him?
Who else but Louis could have brought me back from Chaillot? Who else
could have torn me from the altar to which my heart still clings?
Celestine, I know I shall return to that convent."—The Comtesse smiled
incredulously.—"But," continued La Vallière, "when I see my faded face
in the glass, and I know I am faded and changed,"—Madame du Roule shook
her head deprecatingly—"I tremble—oh, I tremble lest I should lose him!
I know I ought to rejoice at his loss," added she in a broken voice;
"yet I cannot—I cannot!" and the tears streamed from her eyes, and she
covered her face with her hands.
"Have you perceived any difference in the behaviour of his Majesty of
late?" asked Madame du Roule, when La Vallière became more composed.
"Oh, what a question, Celestine! Such an idea never crossed my
mind—changed now, at this time—could it be possible? When I spoke of
losing him, I meant in the course of years—long, long years. Surely he
would not change now?" An agonised expression came into her face as she
spoke, and she turned appealingly towards her friend for reassurance
against what presented itself to her as some horrible dream.
"I only ask you this question for your good, dear Louise," answered
the Comtesse soothingly, imprinting a kiss on her pallid cheek. La
Vallière threw her arms around her neck, and made no reply. "I see you
are incapable of judging for yourself. If I ask a painful question, it
is to spare you, not to wound you. Answer me honestly, Louise—is his
Majesty changed?"
A shudder passed over the slender frame of La Vallière. For a time she
could not bring herself to reply; then hesitatingly she answered: "I
have fancied—but, oh heavens! may it be only a fancy—that his Majesty
finds his visits to me more dull than formerly. I am so depressed
myself, that must be the reason," and she bent her eyes upon her
friend, hoping that she would assent; but Madame du Roule only listened
with grave attention. "He has sat," continued Louise, evidently forcing
herself to a painful confession, "he has sat for half an hour at a
time quite silent, a thing unusual with him. He has remarked, too,
repeatedly, on my altered looks; he has often regretted my low spirits.
He is most considerate, most tender; but"—and she faltered more than
ever—"I fear that I depress him; and I have tried—" here her voice
dropped, and her eyes fixed themselves upon a medallion portrait of
Louis that hung round her neck by a chain of gold. She contemplated it
earnestly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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