Kentucky -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, American
In the pause that followed Mr. Bloomfield saw his chance. Mr.
Bloomfield's voice had a crackling tone in it, like fire running through
broom-sedge.
“Lookyhere, my friend!” he demanded crisply. “Ain't you been kind of
flyin' in the face of history as well as the movin'-picture industry?
Seems to me I recall that you pleg-taked Rebs got a blamed good lickin'
about ever' once in so often, or even more frequently than that. If my
memory serves me right it seems to me you did indeed!”
Mr. Ezell swung in his chair and the spots in his cheeks spread until
his whole face burned a brick-dust red.' Sergeant Jimmy Bagby threw
himself into the breach. Figuratively speaking, he had both arms full of
heartsease and rosemary.
“In reguards to the major here”--he indicated Mr. Bloomfield with a
gracious gesture of amity--“I furgot to tell you that he taken a rather
prominent part--on the other side frum us.”
As Mr. Ezell's choler rose his brows came down and lowered.
“Huh!” said Mr. Ezell with deadly slowness. “Whut's a Yankee doin' down
here in this country?”
“Doin' fairly well,” answered Mr. Bloomfield. “F'r instance, he's payin'
taxes on that there house next door.” He flirted his whiskered chin over
his left shoulder. “F'r instance, also, he's runnin' the leadin' tannery
and saddle-works of this city, employin' sixteen hands regular. Also,
he was elected a justice of the peace a week ago last We'nesday by his
fellow citizens, regardless of politics or religion--thanky for askin'!
“Also,” he went on, his freckles now standing out beautifully against a
mounting pink background--“Also and furthermore, he remembers distinctly
having been present on a number of occasions when he helped to lick you
Seceshers good and proper. And if you think, my friend, that I'm goin'
to abate one jot or tittle from that statement you're barkin' up the
wrong tree, I tell you!”
Now behold in the rôle of peacemaker Sergeant Jimmy Bagby rising
grandly erect to his full height, but keeping his feet and ankles in the
foottub.
“Say, listen here, Major,” he pleaded, “ef you kin kindly see your
way clear to abatin' a few jots on behalf of Indiana I'll bet you I kin
induce Georgia to throw off every blamed tittle he's got in stock. And
then ef Indiana kin dig up another of them delightful teacups of his'n
I believe I kin guarantee that Kintucky and Georgia will join him in
pourin' a small but nourishin' libation upon the altar of friendship,
not to mention the thresholds of a reunited country. Ain't I got the
right notion, boys? Of course I have! And then, as soon as we-all git
settled down agin comfortable I'm goin' to tell you two boys something
mighty interestin' that come up oncet when I was on hand and heared the
whole thing. Did I mention to you before that I belonged to King's Hell
Hounds?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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