Kentucky -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, American
When Mr. Montjoy speared at Judge Priest, Judge Priest remained
outwardly quite calm and indifferent, but not so Mr. Felsburg. If he did
not take the stump in defence of his old friend at least he frequented
its base, in and out of business hours, and in the fervour of his
championship he chopped his English finer and twisted his metaphors
worse than ever he had done before, which was saying a good deal.
One afternoon, when he returned to the store, after a two-hours' absence
spent in sidewalk argument down by the Square, his brother, Mr. Ike
Felsburg, who was associated in the firm, ventured to remonstrate with
him, concerning his activities in the curbstone forum, putting the
objections on the grounds of commercial expediency. At that he struck
an attitude remotely suggestive of a plump and elderly Israelitish Ajax
defying the lightning.
“Listen here, you Ike,” he stated. “Thirty years I have been building
up this here Oak Hall Clothing Emporium, and also hats, caps and gents'
furnishings goods. You--you can run around with your lodge meetings and
your benevolence societies, and all this time I work here, sweating like
rats in a trap, and never is a word said by me to you, vicer or verser.
I ask you as brother to brother, ain't that so, or ain't it? It is,”
continued Mr. Herman, answering his own question.
“But, Hermy,” interjected Mr. Ike, put on the defensive by the turn
which the argument had taken, “but, Hermy, all what I have said to you
is that maybe somebody who likes Montjoy would get mad at you for your
words and take their custom up the street.”
“Let 'em!” proclaimed Mr. Herman with a defiant gesture which almost
upset a glass case containing elastic garters and rubber armbands, “let
'em. Anybody which would be a sucker enough to vote for Montjoy against
a fine young fellow like this here Houser would also be a sucker enough
to let Strauss, Coleman & Levy sell him strictly guaranteed all-wool
suitings made out of cotton shoddy, and I wouldn't want his custom under
any circumstances whatsoever!”
“But, Hermy!” The protest was growing weaker.
“You wait,” shouted Mr. Herman. “You have had your say, and now I would
have mine, if you please. I would prefer to get one little word in
sideways, if you will be so good. You have just now seen me coming
in out of the hot sun hoarse as a tiger from trying to convince a few
idiots which they never had any more sense than a dog's hind leg
and never will have any, neither. And so you stand there--my own
brother--and tell me I am going too far. Going too far? Believe me,
Mister Ike Felsburg, I ain't started yet.”
He swung on his heel and glared into the depths of his establishment.
“Adolph,” he commanded, “come here!” Adolph came, he being head salesman
in the clothing department, while Mr. Ike quivered in dumb apprehension,
dreading the worst and not knowing what dire form it would assume.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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