Kentucky -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, American
“But he is an honest man and a God-fearin' man. Ez a soldier under the
stars and bars he done his duty to the sorrowful end. Ez a citizen he
has never wilfully harmed his feller-man. He never invaded the sanctity
of any man's home, and he never brought sorrow to any hearthstone. Ef
he has his faults--and who amongst us is without them?--he has been the
sole sufferer by them. I believe it has been charged that he drank some,
but I never seen him under the influence of licker, and I don't believe
anybody else ever did either.
“I nominate------” His voice took on the shrillness of a fife and
his right fist, pudgy and clenched, came up at arm's length above his
head--“I nominate--and on that nomination, in accordance with a rule but
newly framed by this body, I call here and now fur an alphabetical roll
call of each and every delegate--I offer as a candidate fur Congress
ag'inst the Honourable Horace K. Maydew the name of my friend, my
neighbour and my former comrade, Lysandy John Curd, of the voting
precinct of Lone Ellum and the County of Red Gravel.”
There was no applause. Not a ripple of approbation went up, nor a ripple
of hostility either. But a gasp went up--a mighty gasp, deep and sincere
and tremendously significant.
Of those upon the stage it was the chairman, I think, who got his wits
back first. He was naturally quick-witted, else his sponsor would never
have chosen him for chairman. In a mute plea for guidance he turned his
head toward the wing of the stage where he knew that sponsor should be,
and abruptly, at a distance from him to be measured by inches rather
than by feet, his gaze encountered the hypnotising stare of Cap'n Buck
Owings, who had magically materialised from nowhere in particular and
was now at his elbow.
“Stay right where you are,” counselled Cap'n Buck in a half whisper.
“We've had plenty of these here recesses--these proceedin's are goin'
right on.”
Daunted and bewildered, the chairman hesitated, his gavel trembling in
his temporarily palsied hand. In that same moment Sheriff Giles Birdsong
had got upon the stage, too; only he deemed his proper place to be
directly alongside the desk of the secretary, and into the startled ear
of the secretary he now spoke.
“Start your roll call, buddy,” was what Mr. Birdsong said, saying
it softly, in lullaby tones, yet imparting a profound meaning to his
crooning and gentle accents. “And be shore to call off the names in
alphabetical order--don't fur-git that part!”
Inward voices of prudence dictated the value of prompt obedience in the
brain of that secretary. Quaveringly he called the first name on the
list of the first county, and the county was Bland and the name was
Homer H. Agnew.
Down in the Bland County delegation, seated directly in front of the
stage, an old man stood up--the Rev. Homer H. Agnew, an itinerant
Baptist preacher.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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