Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of LancasterCannan, Gilbert
General
Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of Lancaster
Cannan, Gilbert
England -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction
"There is no social problem," said Old Mole, "there is only the moral
problem, and that is settled by the act of living, or left in a
greater tangle by the refusal to live."
One night as he returned home from a dinner at a literary and artistic
club he stood at the head of the little stairs looking down into the
darkness. He was filled with regret for the past that had contained so
much pleasantness and appalled by the vision of the future stretching
on without Matilda, for it would be without her though she stayed
under his roof. Between the theater and the other she gave so much
that she had very little left for him--so little: gentleness and
kindness and consideration, things which it were almost kinder not to
give. It were best, he thought, that she should go and make her own
life, with or without the other. She had her career, her work: friends
she would always make, acquaintances she could always have in
abundance. . . . And yet she stayed. He had felt dependent on her for
the solution, for the proof, as it were, that the three angles of a
triangle are equal to two right angles. But she stayed. There must
then be something that she treasured in her life with him. . . . And
he was curious to know what it might be. Almost before he was aware of
it he was down the little stairs and at her door, listening, and he
was chilled with pity. She was weeping, and smothering the sound of
it.
"Poor child!" he thought.
And he tapped lightly at her door. No sound. Again he tapped. She came
then.
"I heard you," he said. "It was more than I could bear."
She led him into her room and made him sit on her bed as she slithered
into it again. She would not have the light turned on.
"I couldn't bear you to be unhappy. You have been so happy."
"Yes," she said.
"Do you want to go?" he asked.
"I'm afraid."
At first he thought she meant she was afraid of the tongues of the
many, but that fear could be no more than superficial. Hers was deep.
It seemed to shake her as an angry wind a tree.
"Well, well," he said.
She reached out in the darkness for his hand. In silence she pressed
his hand, and then:
"You never know," she said.
It was all she could tell him, that she was suffering. He said:
"There is nothing to fear," and in silence he pressed her hand.
"You _have_ been good to me."
There was a knell in the words. They were the epitaph of their life
together.
"I think," he said, "that, if we were so foolish as to tot up the
gains on either side, mine would be the greater."
Again she pressed his hand.
"I'm not a bit like Josephine really, am I?"
"My dear child." He was very near tears. "My dear child, not a bit."
So he left her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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