Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of LancasterCannan, Gilbert
General
Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of Lancaster
Cannan, Gilbert
England -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction
"He was slow in the beginning. He had doubts and was fool enough to
want to plague the public with them. The public wants certainties. It
wants winners. I told him that he might have doubts, but they were his
own private affair and that it was foolish to commit them to writing.
I had ado to make him heed me, but he did heed me, and he got so that
he couldn't fail. It wasn't in him to fail. He could think just the
exact nothing that the public thinks a month or two before they begin
to think it themselves. He was fine for religion and home life and
young love and all that, but you had to keep him off any serious
subject. He knew that, after a time. He knew himself very well, and he
would take infinite trouble. He had no real sense of humor, but he
learned how to make jokes,--little, sly jokes they were, shy things as
though they were never sure of being quite funny enough. It took him
years to do it, but he could do it. There've been a million and a half
of his books sold. We'll sell fifty thousand this week. . . . Man! I
tell ye, I've had a hard fight for it. I've had thirty press agents up
and down the country, working day and night, sending in stuff from the
moment he was ill. I was with him when he ate the oysters. I had sick
moments when I thought the newspapers weren't going to take it up. I
put the proposition to the kinematograph people and their interest
carried it through. It was a near thing. The Dean hadn't read the
man's works. I had to find some one above the Dean who had. . . . I
helped to make Robert Wherry what he was. I couldn't, in decency, fail
to give my services to his fame and procure him the crowning glory of
. . ."
Old Mole, straining forward, heard the reedy voice:
". . . We give Thee hearty thanks for that it hath pleased Thee to
deliver this our brother out of the miseries of this sinful world.
. . ."
Sick at heart, Old Mole edged into the aisle and crept out into the
air, gratefully drawing in great breaths of it, and thanking the Lord
for His mercy in leaving the sky above London and suffering the winds
to blow through it and the rain to fall upon it.
In his chambers he found a thin brown man, grave and dignified and
dried by the sun.
"You don't know me, Mr. Beenham?" he said.
Old Mole scanned him.
"No. I can't say I do."
"Cuthbert Jones. You may remember. . . ."
Carlton Timmis!
"Sit down, sit down," said Old Mole. "I _am_ glad to see you. I wrote
to you, wired to you at a place called Crown Imperial."
"A dirty hole."
"You heard about your play?"
"Only six weeks ago. In Shanghai. I picked up an old illustrated
paper. There was a portrait of Miss Burn in it. I hear she is a
success. . . . I was told there is a company touring the China coast
with the play."
"It is still being performed," said Old Mole. "It has been translated
into German, French, Italian, Russian, Hungarian, Dutch, Japanese.
. . ."
"Not into Chinese, I hope."
"Why not?"
"Because I live in China."
"You haven't come back, then?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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