Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of LancasterCannan, Gilbert
General
Old Mole: Being the Surprising Adventures in England of Herbert Jocelyn Beenham, M.A., Sometime Sixth-Form Master at Thrigsby Grammar School in the County of Lancaster
Cannan, Gilbert
England -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction
And Old Mole returned to the strain of his existence. Impossible, he
thought, to stay in London. Equally impossible to retain so huge a sum
of money. It would go on swelling like a tumor, and, like a tumor, it
would create a stoppage either in his own life or in someone's else.
Had it not already done so? Had it not played its part in the
tragi-comedy that was not yet come to its climax? Had it not raised
him to an absurd height, blown him out into a caricature of himself,
pulled out his nose, goggled his eyes, given him a hunch back and a
pot belly, forced him into overfeeding, overdrinking, over-talking,
into writing a ridiculous, pontifical, instructive book, choked his
humor and played the very devil with his imagination? He pondered this
question of the money and at last he had an inspiration. He went down
over Blackfriars Bridge and into the slums of Southwark. In a foul
street he called at a house and asked how many people there might be
living in it. He was told twenty-three: four families. In another
there were thirty-one. In another he was asked in by the woman, and
there was a corpse on the bed, and there were three children eating
bread and jam for their dinner on the table only a yard from it, and
the woman was clearly going to have another child. He asked the name
of the landlord of that house, and next day sought him out. He bought
the house: he went on buying until he had the whole row, then the
whole street, then the next street and the next, and the next, until
his money was all gone but ten thousand pounds. Then he gave orders
for all the foul houses to be pulled down and a garden to be made.
. . . He was told that it would be impossible--that he would have to
get permission from the Borough Council, and the County Council, and
Parliament.
"Can't I do what I like with my own?" he said.
"It's a question," said the rent collector who had taken him under his
wing, "whether the Council can afford to do without the rates. If you
pull the houses down, sir, you'll only make the overcrowding worse,
because they must live somewhere, sir, and, bless you, they don't mind
it. They're born in it and they die in it. You and I, sir, don't like
the smell, but they don't never notice it."
But Old Mole stuck to it and the houses were pulled down and a garden
was made, and he said not a word about it to a soul. It was only a
very little garden because, though he had bought many houses, he could
not buy the land on which all of them were built because it was very
dear.
Almost best of all he liked the destructive part of the undertaking.
Pulling down houses was in his mood and sorted with his circumstances.
From his own house he had set his face.
He had received a letter from Panoukian:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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