After this hot fit there came, as was natural, a cold one. Katherine
went upstairs to her own room, the room divided from that other only by
an open door, which they had occupied ever since they were children.
Then her loneliness came down upon her like a pall. Even with the thrill
of this news in all her frame, she felt a foolish impulse to go and call
Stella--to tell Stella all about it, and hear her hasty opinion. Stella
never hesitated to give her opinion, to pronounce upon every subject
that was set before her with rapid, unhesitating decisions. She would
have known exactly what to say on this subject. She would have taken the
girl’s part; she would have asked what right a man had because he was
your father to be such a tyrant. Katherine could hear the very tone in
which she would have condemned the unnatural parent, and see the
indignant gesture with which she would have lifted her head. And now
there was nobody, nothing but silence; the room so vacant, the trim bed
so empty and cold and white. It was like a bed of death, and Katherine
shivered. The creature so full of impulses and hasty thoughts and crude
opinions and life and brightness would never be there again. No, even if
papa would forgive--even if he would receive her back, there would be no
Stella any more. This would not be her place; the sisterly companionship
was broken, and life could never more be what it had been.
She sat down on the floor in the middle of the desolation and cried
bitterly. What should she do without Stella? Stella had always been the
first to think of everything; the suggestion of what to do or say had
always been in her hands. Katherine did not deny to herself that she had
often thought differently from Stella, that she had not always accepted
either her suggestions or her opinions; but that was very different from
the silence, the absence of that clear, distinct, self-assured little
voice, the mind made up so instantaneously, so ready to pronounce upon
every subject. Even in this way of looking at it, it will be seen that
she was no blind admirer of her sister. She knew her faults as well as
anyone. Faults! she was made up of faults--but she was Stella all the
same.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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