But to Katherine it only appeared that Mr. Stanley was forty-five, that
he was the father of a girl as old as herself, and of a young man, whom
she had laughed at, indeed, but who also had wished to make love to her.
What would Gerard say? This was the first thing that changed Katherine’s
mood, that made her laugh. It brought in a ludicrous element. What
Charlotte would say was not half so funny. Charlotte would be horrified,
but she would probably think that any woman might snatch at a man so
admired as her father, and the fear of being put out of her place would
occupy her and darken her understanding. But the thought of Gerard made
Katherine laugh and restored her equilibrium. Strengthened by this new
view she came down from her pinnacle of indignation and began to look
after the things she had to do. The snow went on falling thickly, a
white moving veil across every one of the windows; the great flickering
flakes falling now quickly, now slowly, and everything growing whiter
and whiter against the half-seen grey of the sky. This whiteness shut in
the house, encircling it as with a flowing mantle. Nobody would come
near the house that afternoon, nobody would come out that could help
it--not even the midge was likely to appear along the white path. The
snow made an end of visitors, and Katherine felt herself shut up within
it, condemned not to hear any voice or meet with any incident for the
rest of the day. It was not a cheering sensation. She finished her
letter to Stella, and paused and wondered whether she should tell her
what had happened; but she fortunately remembered that a high standard
of honour forbade the disclosure of secrets like this, which were the
secrets of others as well as her own. She had herself condemned from
that high eminence with much indignation the way in which other girls
blazoned such secrets. She would not be like one of them. And besides,
Stella and her husband would laugh and make jokes in bad taste and hold
up the Rector to the laughter of the regiment, which would not be fair
though Katherine was so angry with him. When she had finished her letter
she returned to the flowers, and finally arranged them as she had
intended to do long ago. And then she went and stood for a long time at
the window watching the snow falling. It was very dull to see nobody, to
be alone, all alone, for all these hours. There was a new novel fresh
from Mudie’s on the table, which was always something to look forward
to; but even a novel is but a poor substitute for society when you have
been so shaken and put out of your _assiette_ as Katherine had been by a
personal incident. Would she have told anyone if anyone had come? She
said to herself, “No, certainly not.” But as she was still thrilling and
throbbing all over, and felt it almost impossible to keep still, I
cannot feel so sure as she was that she would not have followed a
multitude to do evil, and betrayed her suitor’s secret by way of
relieving her own mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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