“It was too abrupt,” he said, “and I funked it at the last. How was I to
get back under everybody’s eyes if it had not come off?”
“It would have come off,” she said hurriedly, under her breath, with a
glance at Katherine. Then, in her usual very audible voice, she said,
“Must you go so early, Dr. Burnet? Then good-night; and if your mare is
fresh take care of the turning at Eversfield Green.”
He did not know what this warning meant, and neither I believe did she,
though it was a nasty turning. And then he drove away into the winter
night, with a sense of having failed, failed to himself and his own
expectations, as well as to Lady Jane’s. He had not certainly intended
to take any decisive step when he drove to Steephill, but yet he felt
when he left it that the occasion was _manqué_, and that he had perhaps
risked everything by his lack of courage. This is not a pleasant
thought to a man who is not generally at a loss in any circumstances,
and whose ways have generally, on the whole, been prosperous and
successful. He was a fool not to have put it to the touch, to be
frightened by an old lady’s dull eyes which probably would have noticed
nothing, or the stare of the company which was occupied by its own
affairs and need not have suspected even that his were at a critical
point. Had he been a little bolder he might have been carrying home with
him a certainty which would have kept him warmer than any great-coat;
but then, on the other hand, he might have been departing shamed and
cast down, followed by the mocking glances of that assembly, and with
Rumour following after him as it followed the exit of the Rector,
breathing among all the gossips that he had been rejected; upon which he
congratulated himself that he had been prudent, that he had not exposed
himself at least so far. Finally he began to wonder, with a secret smile
of superiority, how the Rector had got off the scene? Did he “exit
praying”?--which would at least have been suitable to his profession.
The doctor smiled grimly under his muffler; he would have laughed if it
had not been for Jim by his side, who sat thinking of nothing, looking
out for the Sliplin lights and that turning about which Lady Jane had
warned his master. If it had not been for Jim, indeed, Dr. Burnet,
though so good a driver, would have run the mare into the bank of stones
and roadmakers’ materials which had been accumulated there for the
repair of the road. “Exit praying”?--no, the Rector, to judge from his
present aspect of irritated and wounded pride, could not have done that.
“Exit cursing,” would have been more like it. The doctor did burst into
a little laugh as he successfully steered round the Eversfield corner,
thanks to the observation of his groom, and Jim thought this was the
reason of the laugh. At all events, neither the praying nor the cursing
had come yet for Dr. Burnet, and he was not in any hurry. He said to
himself that he would go and pay old Tredgold a visit next morning, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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