be pushed on, to be excited and pricked up into action for
Stella!)--seemed for a moment half disposed to throw itself on the other
side, to call back the Rector, who would probably think it right that
Stella should be punished for her disobedience, or to set up an
immovable front as an unmarried woman, adopting that _rôle_ which has
become so common now-a-days. She would, she felt, have nobody
recommended to her for her husband whose chief characteristic was that
he would take care of Stella. It was an insult to herself. She would
marry nobody at second-hand on Stella’s account. Better, far better,
marry nobody at all, which was certainly her present inclination, and so
be free to do for Stella, when the time came, what she had always
intended, of her own accord and without intervention.
I think all the same that Lady Jane was quite right, and that the
butterfly kind of man--the gallant, gay Algy or any of his
fellows--would have been quite out of Katherine’s way; also that a man
like Dr. Burnet would have been much in her way. But to Katherine these
calculations seemed all, more or less, insulting. Why an elderly
clergyman with a grown-up family should suppose himself to be on an
equality with her, a girl of twenty-three, and entitled to make her an
offer, so very much at second-hand, of his heart and home, which was too
full already; and why, in default of him, a country practitioner with no
particular gifts or distinction should be considered the right thing for
Katherine, gave her an angry sense of antagonism to the world. This,
then, was all she was supposed to be good for--the humdrum country life,
the humdrum, useful wife of such a man. And that everything that was
pleasant and amusing and extravagant and brilliant should go to Stella:
that was the award of the world. Katherine felt very angry as she drove
home. She had no inclination towards any “military swell.” She did not
admire her brother-in-law nor his kind; she (on the whole) liked Dr.
Burnet, and had a great respect for his profession and his
much-occupied, laborious, honourable life. But to have herself set down
beforehand as a fit mate only for the doctor or the clergyman, this was
what annoyed the visionary young person, whose dreams had never been
reduced to anything material, except perhaps that vague figure of James
Stanford, who was nobody, and whom she scarcely knew!
Yet all this shaking up did Katherine good. If she had been more
pleasantly moved she would perhaps scarcely have been so effectually
startled out of the deadening routine of her life. The process was not
pleasant at all, but it made her blood course more quickly through her
veins, and quickened her pulses and cleared her head. She was received
by her father without much emotion--with the usual chuckle and “Here you
are!” which was his most affectionate greeting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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