“Oh no,” she said with a little shake of her head, and a sound of pathos
in her voice of which she was quite conscious; “my father is ill; he is
better now, but his condition is serious. I am very--sorry--I am
distressed--to say so--but he must not be disturbed, he must not. I have
escaped for a little to-day. I--had to come. But at home I am
altogether taken up by papa. I cannot let you--lose your time--take the
trouble--of coming for nothing. Oh, excuse me--I cannot----” Katherine
said.
And he made no reply, he looked at her, saying a thousand things with
his eyes. And then there came the jar of the arrival. He handed her out,
he found a cab for her, performing all the little services that were
necessary, and then he held her hand a moment while he said goodbye.
“May I come and see you off? May I be here when you come back?”
“Oh, no, no!” Katherine said, she did not know why. “I don’t know when
we go back; it perhaps might not be till to-morrow--it might not be
till--that is, no, you must not come, Mr. Stanford--I--cannot help it,”
she said.
Still he held her hand a moment. “It must still be hope then, nothing
but hope,” he said.
She drove away through London, leaving him, seeing his face wherever she
looked. Ah, that was what the others had wanted to look like but had not
been able--that was--all that one wanted in this world; not the Tredgold
money, nor the fortune of the great City young man, nor the Rector’s
dignity, nor Dr. Burnet’s kindness--nothing but that, it did not matter
by what accompanied. What a small matter to be poor, to go away to the
end of the earth, to be burned by the sun and wasted by the heat, to
endure anything, so long as you had _that_. She trembled and was
incoherent when she tried to speak. She forgot where to tell the cabman
to go, and said strange things to Hannah, not knowing what she said. Her
heart beat and beat, as if it was the only organ she possessed, as if
she were nothing but one pulse, thumping, thumping with a delicious
idiocy, caring for nothing, and thinking of nothing. Thinking of
nothing, though rays and films of thought flew along in the air and made
themselves visible to her for a moment. Perhaps she should never see him
again; she had nothing to do with him, there was no link between them;
and yet, so to speak, there was nothing else but him in the world. She
saw the tall tower of the Parliament in a mist that somehow encircled
James Stanford’s face, and broad Whitehall was full of that vapour in
which any distinctions of other feature, of everything round about her,
was lost.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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