When Katherine came into the room again at the call of her father’s
solicitor it was with a sense of being unduly disturbed and interfered
with at a moment when she had a right to repose. She was perhaps half
angry with herself that her thoughts were already turning so warmly to
the future, and that Stella’s approaching arrival, and the change in
Stella’s fortunes which it would be in her power to make, were more and
more occupying the foreground of her mind, and crowding out with bright
colours the sombre spectacle which was just over, and all the troublous
details of the past. When a portion of one’s life has been brought to an
end by the closure of death, something to look forward to is the most
natural and best of alleviations. It breaks up the conviction of the
irrevocable, and opens to the soul once more the way before it, which,
on the other hand, is closed up and ended. Katherine had allowed that
thought to steal into her mind, to occupy the entire horizon. Stella was
coming home, not merely back, which was all that she had allowed herself
to say before, but home to her own house, or rather to that which was
something still more hers than her own by being her sister’s. There had
been, no doubt, grievances against Stella in Katherine’s mind, in the
days when her own life had been entirely overshadowed by her sister’s;
but these were long gone, long lost in boundless, remorseful
(notwithstanding that she had nothing to blame herself with) affection
and longing for Stella, who after all was her only sister, her only near
relation in the world. She had begun to permit herself to dwell on that
delightful thought. It had been a sort of forbidden pleasure while her
father lay dead in the house, and she had felt that every thought was
due to him, that she had not given him enough, had not shown that
devotion to him of which one reads in books, the triumph of filial love
over every circumstance. Katherine had not been to her father all that a
daughter might have been, and in these dark days she had much and
unjustly reproached herself with it. But now everything had been done
for him that he could have wished to be done, and his image had gone
aside amid the shadows of the past, and she had permitted herself to
look forward, to think of Stella and her return. It was a great
disturbance and annoyance to be called again, to be brought back from
the contemplation of those happier things to the shadow of the grave
once more--or, still worse, the shadow of business, as if she cared how
much money had come to her or what was her position. There would be
plenty--plenty to make Stella comfortable she knew, and beyond that what
did Katherine care?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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