Katherine shook her head but said nothing. And human nature is so
strange that Dr. Burnet, after making this profession of devotion, which
was genuine enough, did not feel so sorry as he ought to have done that
she still shook her head as she disappeared up the great stairs.
Katherine went into her room a very different woman from the Katherine
who had left it not half-an-hour before. Then she had entertained no
doubt that this was her own house in which she was, this her own room,
where in all probability she would live all her life. She had intended
that Stella should have the house, and yet that there should always be a
nook for herself in which the giver of the whole, half by right and
wholly by love, should remain, something more than a guest. Would
Stella think like that now that the tables were turned, that it was
Katherine who had nothing and she all? Katherine did not for a moment
imagine that this would be the case. Without questioning herself on the
subject, she unconsciously proved how little confidence she had in
Stella by putting away from her mind all idea of remaining here. She had
no home; she would have no home unless or until the cottage was built
for which her father had in mockery, not in kindness, left her the site.
She looked round upon all the familiar things which had been about her
all her life; already the place had taken another aspect to her. It was
not hers any longer, it was a room in her sister’s house. She wondered
whether Stella would let her take her favourite things--a certain little
cabinet, a writing table, some of the pictures. But she did not feel any
confidence that Stella would allow her to do so. Stella liked to have a
house nicely furnished, not to see gaps in the furniture. That was a
small matter, but it was characteristic of the view which Katherine
instinctively took of the whole situation. And it would be vain to say
that it did not affect her. It affected her strongly, but not as the
sudden deprivation of all things might be supposed to affect a sensitive
mind. She had no anticipation of any catastrophe of the kind, and yet
now that it had come she did not feel that she was unprepared for it. It
was not a thing which her mind rejected as impossible, which her heart
struggled against. Now that it had happened, it fitted in well enough to
the life that had gone before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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