And he added no more. But when he took leave of Lady Jane at the Rectory
he took a long walk by himself in the rain, skirting the gardens of the
Cliff and getting out upon the downs beyond, where the steady downfall
penetrated into him, soaking the tweed in a kind of affectionate natural
way as of a material prepared for the purpose. He strolled along with
his hands in his pockets and the cap over his eyes as if it had been a
summer day, liking it all the better for the wetness and the big masses
of the clouds and the leaden monotone of the sea. It was all so dismal
that it gave him a certain pleasure; he seemed all the more free to
think of his own concerns, to consider the new panorama opened before
him, which perhaps, however, was not so new as Lady Jane supposed. She
had forced open the door and made him look in, giving all the details;
but he had been quite conscious that it had been there before, within
his reach, awaiting his inspection. There were a great many inducements,
no doubt, to make that fantastic prospect real if he could. He did not
want to go to India, though indeed it would have been very good for him
in view of his sadly reduced finances and considerably affected credit
in both senses of that word. He had not much credit at headquarters,
that he knew; he was not what people called a good officer. No doubt he
would have been brave enough had there been fighting to do, and he was
not disliked by his men; his character of a “careless beggar” being
quite as much for good as for evil among those partial observers; but
his credit in higher regions was not great. Credit in the other sense of
the word was a little failing too, tradesmen having a wonderful _flair_
as to a man’s resources and the rising and falling of his account at his
bankers. It would do him much good to go to India and devote himself to
his profession; but then he did not want to go. Was it last of all or
first of all that another motive came in, little Stella herself to wit,
though she broke down so much in her attempts to imitate Lottie Seton’s
ways, and was not amusing at all in that point of view? Stella had
perhaps behaved better on that impromptu yachting trip than she was
herself aware. Certainly she was far more guilty in the beginning of it
than she herself allowed. But when the night was dark and the storm
high, she had--what had she done? Behaved very well and made the men
admire her pluck, or behaved very badly and frightened them--I cannot
tell; anyhow, she had been very natural, she had done and said only what
it came into her head to say and to do, without any affectation or
thought of effect; and the sight of the little girl, very silly and yet
so entirely herself, scolding them, upbraiding them, though she was
indeed the most to blame, yet bearing her punishment not so badly after
all and not without sympathy for them, had somehow penetrated Charles
Somers’ very hardened heart. She was a nice little girl--she was a very
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