Oldfield: A Kentucky Tale of the Last CenturyBanks, Nancy Huston
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Oldfield: A Kentucky Tale of the Last Century
Banks, Nancy Huston
Kentucky -- Fiction
There was no consciousness of heroism in Anne's own sadly humble
thoughts. When the doctor and the young man were gone, she bent down
silently and kissed her husband with tender timidity, as if begging his
forgiveness for what she could not help. Kneeling by his side, as she
often knelt in her unwearying service, she strove to look into his
averted face, and to meet and to hold his miserable eyes with her own
clear gaze, from which the clouds were fast drifting away. The white
light behind her strange eyes had sunk low under the shock, and had died
out in the stress of terror; but it was gradually beginning to rise and
shine again through the crystal windows of her soul. Her husband did not
look at her; he seemed not to hear what she said; he was staring after
the two men who were walking away down the big road, his look straining
to follow them as a chained animal strains its fetters toward
companionship. Anne saw nothing of this; she was not a bright woman, and
entirely without imagination. She saw only that he did not notice her,
that she was far from his thoughts. And she was used to being
over-looked by her husband, and accustomed to being forgotten by him.
She arose and went quietly across the room, and brought a footstool, and
sat down upon it by his side, laying her head on the arm of his chair,
with her hands folded on her lap.
She was not weeping,--she had never been a crying woman,--and in truth
she was not more unhappy at this moment than she had been for years. She
was, indeed, even less unhappy, now that the shock was well over and the
danger safely passed. A feeling of peace was in truth already hovering
in her breast, though very timidly, as a frightened dove comes slowly
back to its nest. This spirit of peace had begun to brood in Anne's
lonely heart soon after her husband's hurt, although Anne herself was
scarcely aware of the fact. Through the endless months of his greatest
suffering she had been not only upheld, but comforted, by the growing
belief--changing little by little to exaltation--that the torture was
but a fiery furnace intended for the purification of her husband's soul
and her own--for she, too, suffered with every pang which wrenched his
shattered body. It was a terrible faith, and yet it was the faith of the
martyrs; and Anne held not back from sealing it, as they sealed it, with
life itself,--ay! even unto the dear life of her husband, which was
infinitely dearer to her than her own. For she loved him as none save a
nature such as hers can love; with an intense, narrow, almost fierce and
wholly terrible concentration. It was a love which had almost entirely
excluded every one else; not only every other man, but her father and
mother and sisters and brothers, all had been shut out from her inmost
heart, from her earliest youth till this latest moment when she sat
unnoticed by her husband's side. He had never loved her with the best
love that he was capable of giving. Love is perhaps never quite equal,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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