American fiction -- 20th century; Prophecies -- Fiction
This was what all his good offices had come to, this was what had come
of his idiotic, vainglorious desire to do the right thing by Jane! He
had simply let himself in for a lot of unhappiness. Strange, though,
that he should be so consumed with jealousy when he wasn’t the least bit
in love with Jane himself. It was absurd! Why, he had known her since
the day she was born—how could he possibly be in love with her when he
had known her all her life? He knew what love was—yes, indeed, he knew.
He had been in love half a dozen times. He ought to know what love
was—and certainly his feelings toward Jane were nothing like those he
had experienced in bygone affairs of the heart. Gee whiz! What had
suddenly got into him?
Suddenly it came to him that he was selfish. That’s what it
was—selfishness. He did not want her himself and yet he couldn’t bear
the thought of letting some one else have her. Utter selfishness! Having
arrived at this conclusion he smote his conscience heroically and
proclaimed to the night that he would no more be jealous. Not even of
Lansing. He would go on being Jane’s friend, and Lansing’s friend, and
the friend of their children, and—This brought him up with a blinding
jolt. Jane’s children! And Lansing’s! Something red and strangely
sustained blurred his vision.
He was oppressed by a feeling of almost intolerable loneliness as he
strode down the dimly lighted street; a soft breeze blowing through the
leaves of the young maples overhead suggested subdued, malicious
laughter; automobile horns sounded like raucous guffaws; some blithering
idiot was sounding taps on a mournful cornet far off in the night. He
was going to lose Jane—he was going to lose Jane—he was going to lose
Jane. Over and over again: he was going to lose Jane. Taps!
Clay Street was almost deserted. The stores were closed for the night. A
few pedestrians strolled leisurely along the sidewalks; a small group of
loafers in front of Jackson’s cigar store, a detached policeman, three
young girls waiting on a corner, widely separated automobiles drawn up
to the curb, a man studying the billboards outside the closed door of
the Star Moving Picture Palace. The town clock began to strike eleven.
“Gee whiz!” sighed Oliver October, for all the world seemed as bleak to
him as Clay Street was at midnight.
Not since that night in June, over a year ago, had he taken the “short
cut” swamp road on his way home from Jane’s. He avoided it after dark as
if it were a graveyard—and he always hurried a little in passing a
graveyard at night. He had never gotten over childhood’s fear of the
ghosts that were supposed to come out and wander among the cold, white
tombstones. There were no tombstones along the lonely swamp road, but he
had a dread of it just the same.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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