Bildungsromans; Boys -- Fiction; Criminals -- Fiction; Kidnapping victims -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction
Mr. Bumble had married Mrs. Corney, and was master of the workhouse.
Another beadle had come into power. On him the cocked hat, gold-laced
coat, and staff, had all three descended.
“And tomorrow two months it was done!” said Mr. Bumble, with a sigh.
“It seems a age.”
Mr. Bumble might have meant that he had concentrated a whole existence
of happiness into the short space of eight weeks; but the sigh—there
was a vast deal of meaning in the sigh.
“I sold myself,” said Mr. Bumble, pursuing the same train of
reflection, “for six teaspoons, a pair of sugar-tongs, and a milk-pot;
with a small quantity of second-hand furniture, and twenty pound in
money. I went very reasonable. Cheap, dirt cheap!”
“Cheap!” cried a shrill voice in Mr. Bumble’s ear: “you would have been
dear at any price; and dear enough I paid for you, Lord above knows
that!”
Mr. Bumble turned, and encountered the face of his interesting consort,
who, imperfectly comprehending the few words she had overheard of his
complaint, had hazarded the foregoing remark at a venture.
“Mrs. Bumble, ma’am!” said Mr. Bumble, with a sentimental sternness.
“Well!” cried the lady.
“Have the goodness to look at me,” said Mr. Bumble, fixing his eyes
upon her.
“If she stands such a eye as that,” said Mr. Bumble to himself, “she
can stand anything. It is a eye I never knew to fail with paupers. If
it fails with her, my power is gone.”
Whether an exceedingly small expansion of eye be sufficient to quell
paupers, who, being lightly fed, are in no very high condition; or
whether the late Mrs. Corney was particularly proof against eagle
glances; are matters of opinion. The matter of fact, is, that the
matron was in no way overpowered by Mr. Bumble’s scowl, but, on the
contrary, treated it with great disdain, and even raised a laugh
thereat, which sounded as though it were genuine.
On hearing this most unexpected sound, Mr. Bumble looked, first
incredulous, and afterwards amazed. He then relapsed into his former
state; nor did he rouse himself until his attention was again awakened
by the voice of his partner.
“Are you going to sit snoring there, all day?” inquired Mrs. Bumble.
“I am going to sit here, as long as I think proper, ma’am,” rejoined
Mr. Bumble; “and although I was _not_ snoring, I shall snore, gape,
sneeze, laugh, or cry, as the humour strikes me; such being my
prerogative.”
“_Your_ prerogative!” sneered Mrs. Bumble, with ineffable contempt.
“I said the word, ma’am,” said Mr. Bumble. “The prerogative of a man is
to command.”
“And what’s the prerogative of a woman, in the name of Goodness?” cried
the relict of Mr. Corney deceased.
“To obey, ma’am,” thundered Mr. Bumble. “Your late unfortunate husband
should have taught it you; and then, perhaps, he might have been alive
now. I wish he was, poor man!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account